[ViceOverVirtue]

I hate that I need you. I came to you to finally have some kind of control in my life and you offered me that. You offered me safety and release and calmness. But you turned around and stabbed me in the back. You took away that control because now you control me. You replaced safety, release, and calmness with hate, guilt, and desperation. You became my friend at only 10 years old. I was only a child looking for a way to deal with everything and you came and broke me. You made me obsessed with control and manipulation. You made me afraid to trust anyone. You made my own mind my worst enemy. You took any shred of self-confidence I had left and stomped it into the ground. You made the time from when I was 10 to 12 years old easier. You did help, I won't lie. But ever since then you've made my life Hell. Ill never forget when my mom found out about you. The look on her face when she saw everything is etched into my memories and I would do anything to forget that day. But here I am, 2 years after that and you found your way back to me. I've lied and pushed people I love away from me because of you. Some nights I feel like there's nothing left of me for someone to care about and I get the worst empty feeling throughout my entire body. The day you get out of my life for good and I can say you didn't drag me down with you, will be the sweetest victory I'll ever have, and believe me, that day is going to come.