[acting101]

Hey all

So in Grade 12 I started feeling a lot more anxiety than I ever used to. I figured then it was probably just because I was dealing with applying to universities and figuring out what I wanted to do with my life.

Last year, I went through my first year of university and the feelings didn't go away. I still stressed about my schooling and ended up switching schools- but the thought of switching schools just haunted me and I couldn't not worry about it. Every day I sort of felt like I was drowning in my anxiety about it, even after I was accepted into my new school that I'm at now and everything was decided. I was also really concerned about making friends and going out to events and stuff, and I didn't go to a lot of stuff because I was so scared about it.

I also started noticing how freaked out I get about some social situations. There were a few situations where I had to make a phone call, once about a job interview and once about returning a game I bought that was broken. Both times I had panic attacks before and after the call where I could hardly breathe and just started shaking and crying. I still get that way now when I have to call someone who isn't a close friend or immediate family member.

And I noticed last weekend that when I feel uncomfortable I have a really demanding desire to tidy things up. I visited some friends and slept over for a couple nights, and one night we were all just sitting around and everyone was kind of doing their own thing but me and I just started cleaning THEIR house all of a sudden until my friend told me to "just stop", and then I felt really terrible and sort of depressed and ashamed for cleaning a house that wasn't mine.

And just every night it seems like I have something else to be really scared and concerned about. Usually about school and my future and making friends, but sometimes random things pop up. For example, my mum texted me tonight and told me she pre-ordered my sister and I PS4's for Christmas. I just started freaking out and crying, even thought my mum has talked to me about getting my sister and I PS4's and I knew she was going to but I'm freaking out nonetheless because she's spending so much money on us even though she can afford it and everything's fine.

Oh woo, long post so far. I just wanted to get the point of view from people who deal with anxiety themselves. Is this something worth seeing a doctor about? I don't feel this way 24/7. It's usually at night when I'm in my room by myself and my mind just starts wandering. Or it's when I have do some sort of performance for school (I'm in a theatre program). Like, in my vocals class I had to do a solo and I ended up doing really poorly because I could barely control my shivering and shaking, even though I didn't think I would be nervous about it.

Also, if I go to see a doctor about it, what will the process of getting help be? Will I for sure have to see a psychiatrist or something, or can a regular doctor help me? I also don't know what to tell a doctor really. Do I just say I've been feeling a lot of anxiety, or will I have to go into specific detail? ...will the doctor judge me if I just start balling my eyes out?

Thanks to those who take the time to read this.