[mindflower]

Patrick doesn't care about me I can guarantee it. I'm like this joke in his life to bring up around his friends and laugh about because oh this depressed easy sophomore had sex with me. He doesn't care, I mean nothing to him, I could've told him I was going to go home and bleed out and he would've just pretended I said nothing. I should just get out of his life.
I should just get out of everyone's lives.
I'm like beating up Mimi with my feelings and she doesn't deserve that she deserves so much better and its so saddening that we're still in a fucking triangle where she likes me way too much, I like him so much I could stick needles down my throat and every time I see him I want his love more than anything in the world, and he likes her sending me down a jealous spiral of hate towards myself.
I hate myself. How could she ever like me. Its no wonder Matthew is sick of me.
How could Cody like me? Fuck all of the shit with Cody, he'll move on find someone better someone who isn't going to end up hanging by a rope or in some sort of rubber room no, he'll find someone normal with perfect breasts and a fair butt with a better voice and prettier hair and I will have been a dead fly dropping in the summer.
I'm nothing in this world, nothing but a worthless mistake.
I mean nothing to anyone here on TH and the fact that I think I do a good fucking job on here and talk to people that seem to care well no one can care about me and every time I think of leaving I remember that this is like my only life, like I'm losing all of my friends outside of the internet and I spend so much time on here that my grades are going to fuck up and I'll drop out of show choir but they won't miss me because I have a horrible voice and dance like a fuck which should be fun tomorrow at fucking homecoming, I hope I just drop dead, maybe I'll just be the prostitute and that's that, who fucking cares anyway?
I'm fat, worthless, pathetic, annoying, unwanted, I'm a fuck, a whore, a bitch, and a freak.
I'm sick, I literally can't feel my fingers and my vagina hurts so freaking bad and I might as well just sleep forever and never wake up I'm that exhausted damn I need some sleep and I need to stop eating so I can be pretty and maybe I should be perfect for Matthew and Patrick and Cody and my mom who I literally can't stand right now. She's a fucking bitch and my dad cries every night because of it and I actually just want them to get divorced. I want to get out of here.
I want to get out of my life.
I think I'm going to cut myself.
No one will give a shit.
Maybe I'll just bleed out.