Re: Confusion over female work colleague. -
October 19th 2013, 01:57 AM
Hi there!
I'm really sorry to hear about how confused you are!
I can't really say whether you're in love or have a crush, as what that feels like can be really different for everyone. I know it's confusing, but that's one of those sort of internal feelings that you'll have to play out for yourself. Similarly, I won't be able to tell you your sexuality either. The thing with that is not everyone fits solidly into one neat little box, and everyone experiences things differently. Is it possible? Sure. It's definitely possible that you're at the very least bi-curious or bisexual. People start to question their sexuality at all different ages. Sexuality is fluid, meaning your preferences can change over time as well.
As far as what it means that she's female, even if you are straight, sometimes there will be "exceptions" to any rule. As I said above, not too many people fit 100% into some neat little package, and you can't always help who you like. Someone who identifies as straight may develop feelings on someone who is the same gender or someone who is homosexual may develop feelings of someone of the opposite. And, sometimes straight people like gay or lesbian porn, for instance.
The thing is, you will have to make a decision. Are you happy with your boyfriend, or do you feel as if it is time to move on to someone that will make you happier? If you are unhappy in your current relationship, it is probably best to break things off because it isn't fair to either one of you, you to be unhappy, and him to be with someone who just doesn't have the same feelings anymore. But, before you make any sort of decision, put some thought into it. You definitely don't have to rush. Just make sure what you decide is best for you. From there, if you break up with him, you can try and speak with Sam about things. But, if you decide to stay in the relationship, maybe you can try and do things to add spark to the relationship, such as an out of the box date.
I know things are really confusing right now but I do think they will sort themselves out. In the end, I think that you will come to the conclusion and the decision that is best for you. Try not to be too ashamed, there is nothing wrong with you for what you are going through and you are not a bad person.
-Dez
Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
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