[Azure.]

Hiya!
Welcome to TH! I hope you are finding it helpful. It's great that you reached out for help, it takes a lot of courage to do that and just for the record, you are not crazy. Anxiety is a very common thing to experience.

It sounds like you have been through a lot and I cannot even begin to imagine how hard all of this is for you. You deserve to be happy

I would guess what you experienced was a panic attack, but I can't say for sure. I would highly recommend seeking out professional help for this issue. See if you can meet with a counsellor at school. Being in college, it is best to seek out low cost options. If you talk to a counsellor of some sort, they may be able to help you find a few resources to look into. It is a great thing to have someone to talk to when you are feeling low or anxious about something.

Have you told your parents? I think you should explain to them the difficulties you are having, they may be able to help you. It would also be a good idea to tell them about your anxiety concerning the family getting along. This may help to alleviate your fears, if only a small amount.

Try not to worry about getting another panic attack. It may happen, but worrying will only put added stress on you. If you find yourself experiencing another panic attack, try to relax your muscles. Take deep breaths and focus either on breathing or something calming. Think about something else and relax your body.

I hope you feel better. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.
Feel free to PM or VM me if you ever want to talk or chat!
Stay strong.
~Nal