Yesterday and today have been really upsetting in terms of school. It just makes me question why I'm there in the first place. It feels like a waste of time sometimes because I come home stressed and close to tears.
Well first I have a group project. The project is to choose a play from the choices, watch the performance. Then each person writes about one aspect of the play (acting, costume, set design, written text etc). We have 6 members and it has to be 3-4 pages. That means each person does less than 3/4 of a page. However it's really hard to work with them. I asked them if we could try to get it done by Oct 3 (yesterday) because that's when the draft is due. It's optional but we'd get very useful feedback. The paper is due Monday. I saw the play last Sunday and finished my part. One other person also finished their part but you could tell there was no effort. So I was left with my part and his, and everyone else still haven't done it. I email those 2 parts to my professor. Then one group member finishes her part and sends it in separately. Why can't we just be cohesive.
Today I get an email from my professor saying that she's confused. She wants it to be in essay format, not loose paragraphs here and there. BUT we're being held back by the other group members.
My professor is also pretty frustrated with our class already....yesterday only me and one other person did the reading. A third person did only partial. She pretty much spent time lecturing us on behavior and expectations as a college student. It felt like I was back in elementary school. Not only that but when she asked a question for the people who DID do the reading, I raised my hand and tried to answer it, instead of telling me it's not what she was looking for or something respectful, she went on about how I was adding in all the wrong details and no one understands what I'm talking about because they haven't read. Well is it my fault they haven't read
I hate when I try something, get it wrong and then get blamed for it.
The next thing was today in another class. I was taking notes as usual, but I do tend to doodle on the side margins sometimes. In truth it really really helps me with learning. It's not like I wasn't taking notes. I definitely was, even though he was simply going over the chapter we had to read, I was taking notes anyway. As he's talking to the class he stops and tells me "nice drawing" in a sarcastic tone. It was embarrassing because he did it in a sort of way as "I caught you, you should be ashamed of yourself and stop immediately"
Well guess what? It's MY learning experience, this is how I learn. I'm angry at the school system as it is. I'm already being told what to learn, now I have to be told how to learn it too!? At least he should have spoke to me after class if he was offended and I'd gladly explain and show him all my notes.
Now I feel so arrogant for saying this, because I can kinda see why it might bother someone (it's customary to not doing anything other than listen and take notes, because it's assumed that the student isn't paying attention) but it'd be nice if he didn't assume things and just asked me after class.
I was also in the front row, and I do participate when he throws a question to the class but he mostly runs the class very traditionally....as in he stands in front of the class and goes over what we already were supposed to read. When he asks a question, it's an information question not opinion, and not critical thinking. But I'm going to keep the criticism for myself. Some people text instead, in the back under their desks. I was in the front, listening, taking notes and drawing (while thinking about what he had just said), when he paused or when he wrote on the board, waiting for the class to copy it down, and I already had finished because I write quickly.