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Originally Posted by Lizzie
The mother of his child and his child are never going to go away. That is always going to be a constant in his life from now on.
You two are not officially together? Why is this? You say that you love him, so why are you not a couple? I personally would not be planning my life around someone who does not want to be in a relationship with me. This is a lot to take on in a relationship and if he doesn't want to commit to you, you might want to reconsider committing to him.
At the end of the day, his child will always come first, not you. Some people are not comfortable with that and that's OK. But I think you really need to consider how you feel about the entire situation and not just him. There are plenty of guys out there for you to love that are not in complicated situations like this.
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We are together. We have been for the last year. We weren't together when he got her pregnant, not officially together.
He is only in the childs life because I pushed him to be.
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Originally Posted by .:BreakingBeautifully:.
Hey there,
I think you need to take some time and consider your options because as stated the baby is going to come first in your boyfriends life and due to this the mother of the child is not going to go away. If you decide to stay with your boyfriend you are going to have to put up with the mother of the child for as long as you two are together and that can be really difficult for some people. The fact is that when two people have a child together, regardless of if they are together, they have to continue working together to a certain extent in order to raise the child. As the partner I understand how this can take a toll on you but in the end the child's needs come first. It might help if you write out a list of pros and cons to this situation to get a better perspective of everything you would have to deal with. Sometimes when I am stuck on what to do I write out a pros and cons list and I it helps me to make a more informed decision. You have to remember that this is a situation that is not going to change and as such you have to decide if this is something you are willing to put up with for a very long time.
Is there anyone in your life that you feel comfortable talking to about all of this? Such as a family member or a counselor? Having someone to vent to about this could be helpful because you do deserve to express your emotions. I know someone that has been in a similar situation and they have been in counseling for this and it helped them deal with it quite a lot.
I hope that this helped in some way and I am wishing you the best of luck.
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Thank you, I do see a counsellor for different reasons, but I will bring this up in my next session.