[mindflower]

He fucking took off my door. He. Fucking. Chucked. My phone at a wall and smashed it into pieces. He RAIDED my room. He banned me from wearing bracelets and made me strip down naked. He yelled and screamed at me in my darkest hour. He grounded me for life, threatened to take away my music extra curricular activities. He ripped the truth from my throat that I'm not a virgin and my friends all want me to disappear. He repeated multiple times that he was going to take me to the hospital and put me in a rubber room and leave me there. But maybe worse, he didn't have the fucking guts to understand a single word that came out of my mouth. Even if half of them were lies... Sometimes my dad can be a sweetheart, but right now? Not even a fucking fraction.
I miss Patrick, he is all I had and now I can't talk to him and will probably never get to see him, I'm worried so much about him because God knows if he's cutting right now or trying to find out what's wrong with me or out somewhere getting stoned... I'm really fucking triggered because of all of this but I keep reminding myself that if I hadn't told my parents I was going to kill myself, it would've been a lot bumpier of a road. But this is too fucking much. Maybe I did want to die last night, or maybe I didn't. But I do now.

FUCK ALL OF THIS SHIT.