[Fanatic]

Well this is just a lousy rant that just has been eating myself inside and i need to get it out somewhere. Ok well it's about school and i know im an intellect and im great at english but just recently, ive struggled to pull myself through english and it has been very hard for me. Because of this dam class, it's pulling my other class down so my grades are slipping but thats not the only reason why i cant keep up my excellent grades. Im used to getting straight a's so it isn't become im bad at school but just recently ive been dealing with a lot of shet like people in my family dying, cats/dogs dying, lack of motivation of going back to church, depression, emotional issues interally, and etc. Also my grandpa is in the hospital and he's pulling through but its like everything is attacking me at once, it's affecting my mood, self-motivation, and sanity. It just feels hard to deal with....im just glad im not self harming myself already cuz i want to so bad or end my life cuz things are so hard but my mind has been strong for too long and wont break but i guess it's good. I just wish every problem in my life would disappear....