[gkat.34]

My boyfriend is leaving for college in a little less than a year now; I know that seems like a long time in the future, but I am already so worried about it. He's a senior at my high school right now, and I'm only a junior... Today is actually our 10 month anniversary. I love him so much more than anything/one I have ever loved in my whole life, and he loves me more than anything too.

Also, I believe I am a slightly depressed person. My mom has had a history of depression (I don't know if that factors into my depression or not), and I have had on-again-off-again symptoms of depression. Now, I've never physically harmed myself in any way-- I hate pain too much for that. But I will cry in my bedroom for hours on end, usually for no reason, or just because I am upset with the way I live my life, despite my wonderful and loving family and friends.

In these past 10 months I have been together with my boyfriend, I have never been happier, except for maybe when I was 2 and I learned to dress myself. I have more or less stopped crying all the time, and have actually learned to enjoy life. But recently I have been crying more and more; not because there is anything wrong with my relationship or family matters; but because I am so scared of falling into that hole I was in for so long, once my boyfriend leaves for college and I am here in high school all alone.

My boyfriend and I spent practically the whole summer hanging out and spending time together, and then when school started again, we only ended up having one class together. I thought at first that that would be enough for me to survive each day; but now, into the 4th or 5th week of school, I am realizing that is not enough for me, and I also realize how dependent I've become on him for my happiness, and I hate that. I want to be able to spend a day without ending up crying at home because I didn't see him that day. I want him to not have to always be worrying about me because I can't handle being away from him. I want to not seem like I'm an awful person because I hate my perfect life when others have much less. But I can't help it.

I honestly don't know what I would do without him in my life; I know it may seem ridiculous to some of you that I think I'm so much in love with him, at only the age of 16, but love will surprise you. I've dated other guys before, but he is the only one who has truly ever made me happy. I have never ever suspected him of being unfaithful to me, and I would never dare to be unfaithful to him. I know in my heart that this relationship will work out in the end, but right now I am just scared about the year we will spend apart when he is in college. Please help. Any advice is helpful.