[ShotaPrince]

Over the summer, I've done nothing but stay in my house except to go grocery shopping and the only people who I've talked to are my dad and my friend who lives hours away from me. I'm going back to high school tomorrow, and I'm so stressed about it that I can't deal with it. On top of the sleeping problems that I already had, I've been staying up the whole night and haven't been able to sleep because I'm so terrified about going back to school. I was grocery shopping with my dad this morning and there were so many people around me that I couldn't handle it and that made me start thinking about school and how I just came out as transgender, lost a ton of my friends, and am completely unprepared to go back. I had a huge panic attack and I started shaking, my heart started racing, and I wanted to crawl up on the ground and die in the middle of the supermarket. I've been so pulled away from people that I can't even deal with simple things like going to the store without totally freaking out. I've been too scared to talk to anyone or see anyone and I've lost so many opportunities because I didn't want to leave my house. Tomorrow, school starts at 7:30, but my meeting with the principal about my transitioning is at 9, meaning the first 2 or 3 periods of school all of my teachers will call me she and call be my my birth name and I don't think I can handle that. I know I won't have the nerve to tell them about my preferred pronouns or name and it's likely that they'll call me those names the rest of the year and won't know any better. I've worked so hard to pass and for everyone to accept me and it feels like everything is just being crushed because of my social problems. I've got nobody in my school who I can talk to and I just don't know what to do