[Laurasaurus]

First of all, I'm really sorry if this isn't in the right place. I wasn't sure whether to put it here or in the religion forum.

In late March, I came to terms with my homosexuality. I literally woke up one morning and realized what I had known for years upon years. In June, I even got a girlfriend. She's amazing, and my life has been so much better since all of this has happened.

My family is very religious and somewhat anti-gay. I was brought up thinking that homosexuality is wrong, immoral, perverted, disgusting, and a disgrace to God and my family. We have one relative that's also a lesbian, and nobody ever talks to her. She's shunned. I know it isn't wrong, but at the same time, I feel like it is. Being with my girlfriend feels so right, but it shouldn't. I shouldn't be a lesbian. That's not how I was raised. I'm supposed to be a good christian girl that gets married to a man in church, buys a house with a white picket fence, and has a few kids. I'm not supposed to be an agnostic lesbian with a girlfriend. This shouldn't even be an issue, but it is. I'm a disappointment to God (if He exists) and my family. I'm dreading the day that I have to come out. Sometimes I just want to force these feelings back down and try to be straight again. On a daily basis, I question whether or not I'm going to hell for being homosexual.

Is it wrong? Is it wrong of me to act on these feelings from a christian perspective (or any perspective at all)? Also, how can I deal with these feelings of inadequacy and wrongness? How do I deal with hating such a large part of myself?