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what the hell is a FixYou♥
I've been here a while
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Name: taylor
Age: 27
Location: nashville
Posts: 1,647
Points: 32,370, Level: 25 |
Join Date: April 15th 2012
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Re: Screaming thread. -
August 23rd 2013, 03:15 AM
You're wrong, YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
Yes, you, you'll never get how exhausted I am, how hard it is to stay awake when I haven't slept in over 100 hours, no, you don't get what a nightmare even is try dealing with 9 months of MINE, no, you don't get what it feels like to be this fucked up and deprived of love and of sleep and of recovery. You have NO idea.
And you, you have no clue what I've gone through, how many times I've been bullied and harassed ever since I was a kid, and when I try my hardest to fix something, like my skin so I won't be called an alien and my addiction so I won't be called emo, you have no fucking idea what its like walking through a high school where I'm so invisible yet so targeted as a subject to just being different. No, I don't have to "fit in", because if I don't fit in that doesn't justify being harassed and picked on. Don't blame my friends, don't blame my clothes, don't blame what I like or any of my problems, just don't, because it won't help. They're never going to quit. I'm not changing just to see, because trust me, they just won't.
Oh, okay, and you, you will never understand my feelings for him vs. my feelings for you. Okay, I say it all the time, how much I love him, how much I love you, and I can't fucking help that. You and I have done so much shit that I've kept a secret, and we both know that I've hurt you. That's the reason I didn't tell you what he and I did, okay? I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt HIM either, and then well, he told you instead so I guess he took care of that and somehow I'm the one hurting. But don't fucking make it seem like this is all my doing and I'm so evil, you've done the same fucking thing and you know it, you're an ass to me and I know it, and he will never ever truly like me, and he knows it. He manipulated me and guess what else? I cut over it, a lot. You don't understand that either, but besides the point, I lied because sometimes things are just better left unsaid. So fuck you, do you even know how many secrets I've kept for you?
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