[mindflower]

Everything was FINE! FINE. JUST. FINE. I actually, you know, hugged you today. The hardest thing I think I've ever had to do, and the scariest, and I could barely enjoy it because my thoughts were racing a mile a second and I was choking on depression and worry, but no. You asked for a hug. And I gave you one.
Everything was fine. And then I find out that like, right after I fucking hugged you and faced my fears and got to feel you again after MONTHS... you tell my ex-boyfriend that you and I like, almost had sex.
Great. Great. Thanks a lot.
*hyperventilates and dies* just when I thought maybe I wasn't so scared of you.... I'm going backwards here. More scared than ever now.
.....I love you and I can't love you
.....why the HELL did you have to tell him that we did that?!?!?!