[Evanesco]

Ok, this really irritates me for a number of reasons, so sorry if I come across as touchy. Firstly, I'm not a transgender. I am a transgender person. A trans man to be more specific. A 'transgender' is not a 'different' gender. Ftm is not some special extra gender, all it means is that the person has transitioned from female to male, or is in the process of transitioning. They were assigned female at birth but they are a boy.

Because of this, if you like women and trans men then you're bisexual, because you like women and men. You don't like all men (only trans men), but they are men so really you don't fit the label of lesbian.

The really troubling thing here is why do you like people who are ftm but not men? If it's because they have vaginas then that's kind of insulting. Plus, most trans men, especially as you get older, will look like, well, men. Because taking testosterone makes you hairy, makes you smell like a man, makes your voice deeper etc. Trans men may look like women when they're younger but most want to get away from that, and they want someone who will treat them as a man, not date them because they're practically a girl or something like that.

Obviously your identity is personal and all people make exceptions (eg a lesbian who dates one trans man might still call themselves a lesbian, in the same way that a straight person who dates one person of the same gender might still consider themselves straight), but from personal experience, if lesbians find me attractive or want to date me it can feel invalidating and insulting because what that's saying is 'I'm attracted to girls but you have a vagina and look girly so I like you too' when that's the bit of me I hate. Also, the whole lumping all trans men together is insulting as well. Once a trans man has had surgery, they have a penis. A lot of trans men have a goal of getting surgery. Once they've had surgery, what would make them attractive to a lesbian? It's kind of saying we'll never be real men, we either have to be classed as female or have a group of our own. And that sucks.

Sorry I rambled...