[Chris]

Hi Nal! First, I want to say: Welcome to TeenHelp!

It sounds like you are in a very dark, and unhealthy place. I can relate. I too, was depressed, locked myself away, was shy, was lower-class (no money), lost two houses, was mentally/emotional abused, and the list can go on and on. So I know how you are feeling. It's tough, especially being 15, when you don't have much of a choice or opinion on certain things.

At age 16, I left my home, and I moved into my aunts. It was tough to do, switching lifestyles, but I had to do it. I began to seek help from a counselor, I began to workout to shed off unwanted weight, I began to become a more faithful person, I began to boost up my confidence by not being the shy guy anymore, and thus I created a huge friend base. And now, two years later - I don't struggle with any of those things anymore. So, my point is, you too can change your life around. Sure, you may not be able to change everything, but change what you do have control over. Stop the self harming (I know, easier said than done), start forcing yourself to stop being shy, find a way to get rid of the bad emotions (working out, writing, drawing, etc), keep pushing forward, etc. These are just a small list of things you do have control over and can do.

I believe that with your dedication, motivation, and your heart into it - things can change things around for the better. But only if you are in it 110%.

Stay strong, my friend.


Best wishes,
Chris