[Brandon]

Dating someone with a child is not exactly an easy thing to do. If you plan on getting serious with this woman, there's going to be a point where she'd feel better if you were involved with the kids. When my mom dated guys, I didn't really know about them but her relationships never really lasted that long. I think that any woman would understand the circumstances, because wanting to date a woman is extremely difficult without thinking about the potential of you becoming that "fatherly figure." It's a huge responsibility, and it's very likely that she needs financial stability with raising her kid because not a lot of single parents have the ability of raising a kid financially by themselves. So it's a real big turn-off when you may initially think about what's going to happen financially. If you really want to pursue this woman, you need to make sure that she understands the circumstances and why you're a little bit hesitant on everything. I'm sure she understands already but it's always good to make sure so that you'll know that you both see eye to eye on the issue. I think that initially, you shouldn't be obligated to be apart of the kid's life. Dating is just dating and it would be irrational to suggest that a boyfriend help take care of your child when you haven't been dating a long time. I think that you should date a woman for a long time without the kid in the picture because the kid isn't your responsibility. It's unfortunate that she's a single parent (or maybe she's fortunate depending on the circumstances of the previous relationship), but the ultimate thing is that she understands no one really thinks about having kids in a normal relationship till later on so it shouldn't really be different. If you plan on taking care of someone's child, you want to make sure that the parent of that child is worth your time and effort into taking care of that child, and sometimes you won't know if she's worth it till much later on in the relationship since people tend to marry at various times. And also, it's important for you to know that you are responsible for your life and you have no obligation to do anything until you're ready to do so. If she doesn't understand the reason for your lack of involvement with the child, then she may not be as bright as you thought she would be and you need to find a woman who doesn't have kids.

You're absolutely right about kids and age, though. As you get older, it's harder to find a woman who doesn't have a child. You could date young women, but that's a moral issue and sometimes can be a legal issue as well, unfortunately. And also, you have to consider the possibility that if you DO find a woman who doesn't have a child...it could be because she doesn't want one (and if that's something you're cool with then that's all fine but what you do want a child and she doesn't want one?) Ultimately, it could work against you in the end.

I think the best thing to do would be to pursue the woman, establish boundaries and understanding of the issue, and date for a while. If you fall in love and willing to take on some of the responsibility of being a part of the child's life, that's on your terms. But if things don't work out...no harm done because, no offense, she'd probably be better off dating another single parent anyways. It's a win-win if you just make sure you do it the right way, otherwise...things could go wrong and turn against you.