[Chuuya]

Hey there,

I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. It sounds like it was a really triggering situation, but you know what? I know you might have messed up and made a mistake, but you've just got to pick yourself up. It was a relapse, we all have them. I've had them too. They suck, but we can't dwell on them. We can't let self harm win. You are so much stronger than self harm, and I know you can get through this.

Does the staff at the hospital know why you started crying, and is there anyway you can talk to them about not seeing patients that are dealing with self harm since it's triggering you? I know it's part of your job, but if it's causing you to be hurt, it might be worth a shot to ask. I think if you opened up to them about it, they'd do everything they can to give you the support you deserve.

Have you tried any alternatives? I know at work it might be a little difficult, but maybe you can sit around people there at work, instead of by yourself so you feel less likely to self harm. Or is there someone that you can talk to at work when you feel bad, or a counselor/therapist that's available to you? I think talking about it might help as well.

I hope this helped a bit, please remember that we're always here to support you no matter what. Good luck and stay strong! Please feel free to send me a message if you ever want to talk as well. My inbox is always open.