[mindflower]

I want to talk to you. Hold you. Hug you. Kiss you. Love you. HAVE you....
but somehow, I can't talk to you, I just can't do it, I'm so afraid, I'm terrified.... I can't hug you, not without having to pull away, and now, I never see you, so its... can't be done. Can't kiss you, or have you, ....can't have love... because you never loved me. Probably never even liked me really....
which is understandable, right?
But I wish you knew WHY I can't do these things.... better yet... I wish I knew....
...I really miss you Matthew...
and The End can punish me for saying so, but I do. I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU.
.......... I wish you knew.
..... but maybe its safer this way....easier....
yeah... sure....