[Kate*]

And we're back to your class making me cry and ruining my weekend. I think in the back of my mind I knew I'd end up here again, that it was only a matter of time before I started to fall apart. Maybe you were right when you said I don't belong in the profession. I don't even know how I spiraled there, but now I can't stop it. I'm right back to failing again and then it's all over. I really can't do it. Maybe I'll ask him how much of this is reality and how much of it is my mind screwing with me. It's not his job, but he said "Let me know how I can keep you from breaking, I'm a counselor that's my job." If it doesn't work, though, he'll know everything and i don't know what he's going to do with it. Thank God we didn't do the second hour because I didn't have it in me and I totally just would've f***ed it up and made myself feel even worse. I know what I need, but no one here can provide it for me and I can't go to the place where they will.

You are partly in control of hiring people so here's what I need. I need to be able to register for classes and be 100% confident that I won't get an instructor who makes me want to kill myself. Can you do that for me? And while we're at it do I belong in the profession, and if not how the hell did I get in?! and what am I supposed to do now?