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Name: Dez
Age: 28
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Location: Connecticut, USA

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Re: Starting Sixth Form(college) and I'm gay.. Dilemma! - June 30th 2013, 07:55 PM

Hey there,

As far as this girl, you'll have to think of what is best for you. Maybe you can make a list of the pros and cons of staying friends with her. For instance, if you think that her political correctness would be too much for you to handle, that can go on the cons side. But, any good qualities she may have as well, put that on the pros. In other words, write down anything that would be a benefit of staying friends with her and anything that would be a drawback and see what outweighs the other. Nobody can force you to stay friends with her after all, but if you do decide to end the friendship, at least be polite about it rather than suddenly dropping off the face of the Earth. Whether it's "right" to or not would depend on the individual person's opinions.

Maybe one thing you can do to make more friends who are guys, or friends in general, are join some clubs either in sixth form or around town. Join things you are interested in, such as a sports team or something to do with gaming (or anything else you're interested in). There you can meet other people with common interests to you which can be a great way to start up a conversation and get to know people, who you can build up a friendship with. Maybe if you have breaks between classes or free time you can also approach people and strike up a conversation.

In my opinion, if you were to introduce yourself to me and basically stick your sexuality in immediately, it's not that I would mind since I am accepting of LGBT+ people, but it's one of those things that not a lot of people stick in their initial conversations. It may seem a bit off if you were to say something like "Hi, I'm Jack, and I'm gay." Let them get to know you a little bit for who you really are, and then you can tell them your sexuality when you know them better. Not everyone needs to know your sexuality after all, and if they're going to have a problem with you just because you're gay, maybe they're not someone you should be friends with anyway, whether you tell them up-front or later on. It's not like you're trying to date them after all, just make friends. There will be people out there who will be accepting of you no matter what and who will realize sexuality shouldn't be a barrier.

When you do come out to a person, just be honest with them. I don't know how you came out in your school, but maybe you could do something similar but on a smaller scale, just telling the person anything you feel they should know.

Best of luck!

-Dez


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