[LuckyNo.Infinity]

First, I'm sorry.
I know that it can feel awful, a strange kind of sickening, when you're that intimate with someone under conditions that aren't ideal or even desirable to you.

And I can't speak on his behalf, but his words from what you wrote didn't seem to be forceful at all... and the eventual affirmative response from you (especially considering the nature of the, shall we say case he made) was likely interpreted as agreement despite a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

In my opinion, he should have asked if you were sure after the "fine" at the very least, and really ought to have quit after the first "no"- a no is a no is a no... but for your sake in the future, and forgive me if this sounds insensitive but it's something you should be aware of: whenever you offer excuses for your decisions, then you communicate that those decisions are contingent upon the relevance of whatever issue your excuse has highlighted. Anyone wanting you to make a different decision, then, would naturally assume that eliminating whatever issue your excuse addresses (in this case, pregnancy) may reasonably result in your answer changing. It doesn't make it right, but "no, I'm not on birth control" is read in the mind as "no, because I'm not on birth control" which makes it easy to imagine that the answer might, or even would be yes if you were on birth control... see what I'm getting at?

So please, just say no if you mean no. You don't owe anyone an explanation for anything, especially when it concerns your body. If you're going to expound upon your answer then do so to as a means of clarification, not to offer an excuse because as I said you don't owe any explanations. Hell if you owe anyone an excuse. Good things to say are "I (really) don't want to" (a gentleman will respect this, period, but desires can change and he may still attempt to convince you without understanding) or preferably, "I'm not comfortable with that" and establish clear boundaries.

That said, this doesn't take anything away from how you feel. If you would honestly deem yourself to have been too incapacitated to have gotten your point across clearly (judgin by the nature of the conversation I wouldn't guess offhand that this was the case, but I wasn't there) then the situation should definitely be reexamined.

I think you should look deeper into what you're feeling... To me, part of respecting my body is having sex because I want to, and not just because I want to kill a feeling, convince someone of something, or to shut them up about it.

And if at any time, you want someone to stop, then say so and that's what should happen. Never feel bad for making decisions (even what feel like after-the-fact decisions) about your body.

I'd even suggest talking to him about it. "Listen, I need to work something out and I think you should hear it."- it may cause him to be more sensitive in the future because there's a weird ambiguous line we're all addressing here and it's only clarified by their actions after your feelings have been made known, and it's never too late to flesh these things out.

<3

Lux