[Rivière]

I've been wanting to tell you for a while now that things between us aren't really going well. All the problems between us this year haven't helped. I've really struggled, you know? I tried to be there for you even though I've been seriously ill. I've tried to tell you that I'm not very well and that at the time of college I had a lot of revision and work to do, a lot of it. You just ignored everything I said all because you wanted Me to be there for You but where have You been for Me? I tried and I tried. I get that you were lonely but you know, ignoring me for 3 whole months isn't going to make things better is it? No matter how tired I was, I kept repeating and repeating to you over and over until I was blue in the face but still you ignored me. I kept my cool. I was never angry. I just repeated and repeated myself like a broken record. Surely 3 months of repeating each week would have been sufficient? Why did it take that long for you to understand my situation anyway? You can't imagine how lonely that made me feel. You were never there for me because you were too busy wanting me to be there for you. I've been here for you. The whole time you were away at work and you left me all on my own and I had to wait for you. Now as soon as it's the other way around you can't deal with it. That's very unfair and it's also very selfish.

You don't realise in doing all of that this year I've shut off from you. It's what happens when I feel so hurt and threatened inside, like I'm under a barrage of attack. It's automatic. I can't just undo it either. These things take time. I just wish you'd listened to me a little more. Understood me a little more. I shouldn't have had to have taken 3 months for you to get it wedged into your mind how my situation is.

My feelings for you aren't the same as they once were. You hurt me. I'm grateful for all that you brought me, but it's time to move on. This talk of us 'getting married in the future' or 'having children', it's far too soon and it's not for me. You're, not for me. Biggest issue of all is well, you're not female. There's a huge barrier here. I'm sorry but it's time for us to part ways.