[MidnightMay]

I liked the numbing sensation and also like most above. I was taught you can't be anything but happy. I could wear a fake smile all day long but once I got in my small safe zone I let it all lose. I tried to numb the sadness, anger, feeling guilty, like I was worthless. I punished myself sometimes for feeling that way thinking I was wrong and horrible for feeling that way. I would cut differently if it was a punishment type thing it wasn't as deep as when I wanted to feel the release and numbing.