Those two days were awesome. I wish we could do that every week.

Every time I am around you, I am reminded of the fact I love you. I try to bury it, to remind myself that now is not the right time, that we have to go slow, but it just rushes to the surface. As you sat across from me talking to me that night, I just wanted to take you in my arms and kiss you.

I miss you. I miss the connection we have. But I am so terrified. I am terrified I am going to fail you again, that I will hurt you again, that I won't be able to handle things, that I am not good enough, that it will end again and we will be done forever. And that would grieve me so deeply.

I'm afraid we will never be together again, despite the fact that we are perfect for each other, because I can't get over something so insignificant.

And that does grieve me deeply.