First, I'd say you need to confront the reason why you're binging. A lot of the time when we develop an eating disorder is when we feel out of control of what we're doing. Instead of us owning the food, the food owns us; this leads to us doing
anything that's possible to put the food in its place, to make us feel like we're strong enough. I say "us" because I used to eat about nine-hundred calories a day, and run two or three miles cross-country; it isn't as bad as some, but it was really taking a toll on my health.
So instead of confronting the eating disorder, confront the
cause of the eating disorder, which seems to me to be social binging. Cut the snake off at its head, rather than cutting half its tail off. Look back to those days with the cookies and finishing the family's leftovers for them, and think hard about the circumstances that caused you to feel you'd lost control over what you were eating. Some questions to ask yourself:
- Was I really hungry?
- Did my family ask me to eat, and I didn't want to disappoint them?
- Did I eat too much?
- After I did eat, did I feel upset about it?
- What did I do to remedy feeling out of control?
Work from there. Also, look to your body's cues for advice: On a scale of one to ten before you eat (with one being least hungry and ten being voracious), judge your hunger levels; if you're not hungry, find an alternative to bond with the people around you, such as inviting people to play card games or telling them about your day. Look at food as fuel which is there to help you achieve your goals, rather than undermine them, and simply
resist binging: Eat until you're comfortable, but no further. It sounds like this is what's triggering your purging (the discomfort caused by eating).
Now, about cutting out your high carbohydrate diet: Your body needs a certain amout to fuel itself. Carbohydrates give use energy, while fat and protein and nutrients in food make the carbohydrates stay with us longer. As a moderately active person, I eat anywhere between three and six servings of carbohydrates a day, and I pair the carbohydrates with lots of vegetables and fruits. When eating, I'll make sure I'm not too full to ingest some form of protein (i.e., some shrimp, soybeans, almonds, walnuts, pecans, or something else like that). This gives me the comfortably "full" feeling that I need, and I find that I can go as long as four or five hours without eating, and sustain my runs and hikes much longer.
A danger of purging is not getting enough nutrients into your system; ironically, not getting enough nutrients into your system may be the reason you're binging in the first place. Look at nutrition labels on the foods you're eating overmuch of, and compare and contrast them with other foods: Which is the nutrient which is highest in concentration in each of those foods? For instance, is there a concentration of Iron, even 4% or greater? Or Vitamin A, B, or C? Your body may be needing more of any of those nutrients, so I'd recommend an over the counter supplement, and perhaps going to consult your doctor (especially if it's an Iron deficiency, as this can lead to anemia). Getting all of the nutrients you need will reduce your urge to binge, which will reduce your urge to purge.
In conclusion, the body is a very complex machine, which needs certain fuels to continue its existence. By purging, you're harming your chances of getting all the nutrients you need, which makes you need to binge more. Imagine it like a car with a hole in the fuel pump: You put gasoline into the car, the gasoline leaks out of the hole, and suddenly you need more than ever to fill you up and keep you going, but it's even harder to fill it up because that hole is always there. By purging, you're losing all of the "fuel" (i.e., nutrients) you need to keep you going, so you return to the "pump" (i.e., the kitchen cabinets) to refill; while you're at it, the "car" (your body) knows that you're going to lose nutrients, so it tries to eat as much as it can to last it the longest amount of time. Then you purge, and the fuel leaks out and needs to be replenished. The simplest way to fix it? Use the hints and tips above to patch the hole, which is your mentality toward food.
I hope you get to feeling better, and I hope this wasn't too long, lol. Message me if you ever need some advice or want to talk.
