[Heretic]

I feel that I'm nothing
And alone.
So I pour another drink
And take a hit
And I wonder.
Where the smoke goes.

And I'm feeling more and more
Like less and less.
And it comes from so far down
And deep inside.
That you cannot
Get to it
No matter what you try.

It's just a voice that's been on
Telling me I'm too good
And there really
Is a shortcut.
And I've been through this
So many nights before.
That you think that
It'd be easier by now.

So I let the chemical reaction
Cloud over the pain
The keeps on hurting.
As I slowly
But too slowly
Drift away.
To a place I know
Where I don't have to think.
Got to have myself
Another smoke and drink.

And I'm far far away
From my heart.