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Re: Poem for my English class: Thoughts? - May 14th 2013, 02:01 PM

Firstly, I like it Is the length requirement very fixed?

Ok, so pretty much need to chop two stanzas out entirely and then fiddle a little. Just as a quick go, I think it would stand alone without the last two stanzas (which are the more personal ones?)

So:
Oh! But my tears are laced with the
salt of a night alone, yet my laughter
is ringing like a church bell on a
Sunday morning.

Beauty! That is what you are calling it.
Beauty!

Allow my words to wrap around your
cold unfeeling heart and halt the beating,
just long enough for you to panic,
such as I on a
Sunday night.

Because twinkle twinkle on that
little star, I will wonder what I am
as your kind forces leather-bound
death certificates down my throat
while I am too small to
swallow.

My future! That is what I am working for.
My end!


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