[irrele]

i find it hard to say or communicate the thoughts in my head especially when things are going bad. being male i've been taught that showing emotion is bad so i've kinda locked it out my head and so if i want to feel something if i'm low i self harm it's a sensation that's like a release of things i can't describe but after i look at what i've done and then i get the feeling i need to release this negativity so i do it again, feel better, look at what i've done and think of how stupid i am and then it goes around in a circle.

idk if that makes sense or not but ye.. that's just my view