[Brandon]

Originally Posted by Ariokage

Hi Im guiles girlfriend. I just wanted to answer some things, we are LDR at the moment, idk of everyone caught that but we have met, so we havent done anything sexual yet since we last saw eachother (feb) My opinion on sex is that basically Im not ready for it mentally. I dont feel like with my anxiety disorder and PTSD I couldnt handle having sex. Also If I was ready I wouldnt like loosing my virginity only to see him again in a few months. But Ive told him that this is just to tell you all. I feel so worried because I love him very much but I also know he deserves a better girlfriend

And also I have been abused (not raped) but if does add a lottle more stress

I think that any boyfriend, at this point, would at least expect some progress. Considering what you've been through, I don't think anyone would try to push you to hurry up, but I think anyone would expect some sort of progress. If all he's being fed is "I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm not ready" then that can kind of get repetitive after a year or so. If he feels that you're making progress, then there's hope in your relationship. But if you're attending therapy sessions and you don't feel any improvement or you feel like you're never going to get over whatever happened, then you might as well tell him now before you and him break out into more arguments and fights that will eventually lead to the break-up anyways. Being a better girlfriend is based on choice, ultimately. If you really want to be better, you gotta tackle your issues head on and prove to someone that you're doing the best you can. But if whatever you're doing isn't working, then you gotta create another tactic. But if it's going good, then that's great. Honestly, I've been to a therapist and they didn't really do shit for me. Their inability to fix my problems eventually made me realize that I can fix my problems better than they can, so I relied on myself and my motivation to change my attitude towards certain past events and beliefs. However, everyone is different. You know what's going to happen if you don't learn how to control your issues. Sometimes, all it takes is making a decision that is out of your comfort zone because life is all about risks anyways. But if you aren't truly showing any progress at a certain time, then things are only going to get worse for you. You need to work with your boyfriend on really coming up with a solution to everything because now is the time where you have the chance to save your relationship, so you need the make the best of it. Breaking up in the worst case scenario, which isn't even all that bad for you considering some issues need to be dealt when you're single...that way you won't have a relationship to keep up with, and you can dive deeper within yourself to solve your own problems. Cause no one can really solve your problem for you, only you can do that. Your boyfriend can be amazing, therapy can be good conversations about what and how you should do things, but it's ultimately your decision on which path you want to take with your relationship.