[Palmolive]

Hi there :-)

I'm glad you've written a thread to us here at Teenhelp. It sounds like you're going through a difficult time so I hope we can manage to help you in some way.

You say you can't stop cutting. Truth of the matter is you can. Truth of the matter is you are the only person in the world who can stop yourself. Yes, it's hard in that moment when you have the urge to harm yourself and I understand that but like you said, you're in control, you're the only one in control of your actions. Only you can stop yourself. But know it's going to take time. It takes strength and you've got it but it takes time. Use the alternatives that you have already been sent the link too. When you're in that moment of desperation and you want to hurt yourself, use as many as you can. Don't stop until you find something that works. Just keep trying them because you will find something that helps but you need to remember not everything out there will help you, so you have to keep trying, ti find the ones that do, okay?

Can I ask why you feel like you enjoy self harm? Can I also ask what you get out of it? For example, I self harm and I find it helpful because I find that when I self harm, the physical pain I feel stops the emotional pain I'm feeling and what ever is going on around me or in my head at the time. But, everyone has different reasons. Some people do it because they use it as a form of self punishment for example but I'm just wondering why YOU do it.

I am glad today is slightly better but I'm so sorry to hear that you're also struggling with these suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts are horrible to experience and I can understand that at times they can become very overwhelming which can make you feel very unsafe and alone. Do you ever feel like you get to that point? Because I think it's the point, where you can maybe become more vulnerable to self harm and even suicide so maybe it would be good for you to put in place a plan for when things do get to that point, if they do get to that point. And it could start but you getting a drink and watching some TV. If that doesn't help, then you could do something else like drawing or going for a walk, if not, try talking to a friend or family and if things get past that point, get more help, ring a helping or your doctor or a mental health professional if you see one. Having a plan in place for situations can really help us get through those moments, you know?

Just don't be alone. If you need to talk to someone, know that we're here for you and so are many others. You're never on your own and people can and want to support you through this so don't be afraid to let them in and help you when you need it. Having a good support network in place can be really beneficial so it's something I really want to encourage you. And keep fighting because you can through this. You have a bright future ahead of you so fight for it - you are worth it.

Take good care of yourself my dear,
Jessie.