[Celyn]

I’m stressing out really bad over this. Basically, I need to do work experience in a school to get on to a teacher training course next year. But I also really want to see my teacher friend. But because of the way my life is, I’m having a really bad time trying to sort out what I’m going to do. As some of you might know, my dad is ill. The week is structured like this:

Monday- dad goes to the day centre (mum doesn’t work)
Tuesday- mum goes to work in the afternoon, dad has a sitter in the afternoon
Wednesday- dad goes to the day centre (mum in work all day)
Thursday- Mum with dad (mum doesn’t work)
Friday- mum goes to work in the afternoon, dad has a sitter in the afternoon

So when I’m not in uni, on a Tuesday I am here to wait for the sitter in case they are later, so mum can go to work without being late. I then have to be back by 3:30. Same for Friday. On a Wednesday, I stay with dad to wait for the ambulance to pick him up in the morning, whilst my mum goes to work. This is important as the ambulance does not have a set time e.g. last Wednesday it came at 9:30, on Monday it came at 10:45 and today it came at 10:00 and my mum starts work at 9. It’s the same when they drop my dad off in the afternoon they can come any time between 2:50 and 4:30, so I have to be here. I have Thursday free, and technically Monday, but because my mum is free on a Monday as well, if she needs to go out shopping, then I’m here to wait for the ambulance.

So the only day I can do work experience is a Thursday. I need a minimum of 5 days. The school that I had hoped to go to phoned the other day and told me I couldn’t go there. There are other schools in my area, but I get so anxious on the phone, and I dread that none of the schools will be able to have me, especially as I can’t be very flexible.

I counted there are 12 Thursdays left until schools finish for the summer (not including this Thursday...5 until half term and 7 after half term). Next week and the week after, I’m in uni. I get Thursdays off, so I might phone around then. So that takes it down to 10. This leads to the next problem. I don’t know if I should try and get some work experience done now or later. I really want to see my teacher friend as well. Last year, she hinted about seeing her, but I screwed it up. It’s hard the way my life is but it will be even harder with work experience. So I don’t know what to do. Should I phone around in the next few weeks to see if any of the schools would take me on? Should I do the full 10 Thursdays (which would make it difficult to see my teacher friend) or do 5? Or should I see my teacher friend first and then focus on work experience? Bearing in mind last year, my teacher friend hinted at the end of may, before half term, so if I had seen her, it would’ve been in June or July, so she probably won’t be busy then, but might be busy now. I have assignments to do now as well. I don’t want to leave work experience until after half term because if none of the schools take me on what then? I could ask my teacher friend but I don’t want to bother her. Especially if I haven’t seen her before hand, because I reckon I will be really nervous around her. I don’t know if I have anxiety issues as I have never been diagnosed.

I just feel really stressed. I wish things were normal. Like my friends. They have the summer off but they can do any day/s for work experience. I’m limited. I get anxious on the phone and I feel like I can’t go to anyone for advice because nobody understands or cares. It’s my teacher friends birthday on Saturday. I wanted to email her letting her know when I finish uni, so she could take that as a hint (since I don’t have the outright confidence or time schedule to ask her if I could see her). But I feel like I can’t because I don’t know what I'm going to do about work experience, and I don’t want to let her down like last year. My mum isn't very supportive of me doing work experience. Everytime I bring it up she ignores me or says things like "Schools aren't open in the summer". I dread telling her that I want to see my teacher friend as well. Any help or suggestions would be great. Feel free to move this since I couldn't make up my mind which section it should go in. Also sorry for the length.