[Brandon]

I'm a male and I've been almost dating a bi-sexual woman for almost two years now. My girlfriend and I have a wonderful relationship -- we do very typical things that a healthy relationship does (such as argue every now and then, communicate, etc) so I don't feel like our relationship is at jeopardy or anything like that. As you well know, men are sort of the biologically territorial animals. We're pumped with testosterone so shit kind of gets complicated when it comes to our girlfriends and her interaction with her male friends. Men know other men. We know what we're capable of doing. So it's important for women to understand that we don't get nervous because we don't trust you; we get nervous because we don't trust other men. Most of us don't like the idea of other men pursing our girlfriends, most of us don't like the idea of other men pursuing our girlfriends (even when they know that she's taken), etc etc. Every woman has a price, every man has a price, and therefore there's always a possibility of something bad happening. No one likes to be vulnerable. So we don't take too kindly with our women being friends with other men because, well...I don't believe we're biologically programmed to be friends. I find my girlfriend very attractive, my girlfriend has been pursued, and I know that some of her friends are going to be thinking sexual thoughts about her. I even know some of her male friends have had a sexual history with her. The ultimate question that many people, not just men, will be thinking is "am I good enough?" If my girlfriend is being pursued by different men, she'll be pursued by different types. Some may be even more physically attractive than I am...some may even have a better personality than I have...and this creates competition.

Competition is the issue at hand. You may very well enjoy what you do at your job, but the bottom line is that you still have to be good at it if you want to succeed in that job. You can have a passion for cars, but if you aren't viewed reliable for the company, you'll get your ass fired. This is just how the world works. There's competition, and there's nothing we can do about it. There's competition in the outside world and in ourselves. We always wanna do better, be better, and etc. Essentially, we have to be on our A game in order for our girlfriends to keep us because she damn well knows that she can leave me and find someone else in a heart beat...and there's not a damn thing that I could do about it...UNLESS....I prevent it in the first place.

When it comes to relationships, there's a lot of calculations that we don't think about. Unfortunately, how much competition is out there is part of those calculations. I want the less amount of competition as possible; if I had the choice, I don't want anybody pursuing my girlfriend at all. But unless we're all morally perfect and she wears a big blinking sign above her head that says "TAKEN," she's going to get pursued. No question about it. If I'm going to walk into a situation, set myself up for heart break by falling in love with a woman, I wanna know exactly what I'm dealing with. I wanna know that I'm so good at being her boyfriend that no one else is a competition to me. If she makes friends with a dude I've never heard of, I wanna know that he's not a risk. If I'm gonna get fucked, I wanna see it coming. I don't like surprises, especially surprises that I could've prevented. It's not about the fact that I don't trust my girlfriend; it's got nothing to do with trust. I trust my girlfriend 100%, but that still doesn't mean I'm gonna let go of any possibility. I don't wanna get hurt. I don't want another man stealing my girl away from me even when she's told me that she's wanted to get married and stuff like that. But for bi-sexuals, it's a little bit different. I have to continually remind myself that it's not just men I'm in competition with but women. That woman that's hanging out at her dorm? She's just equally as likely to pursue my girlfriend. Her female room mates? There's always a possibility. If my girlfriend was heterosexual and she had a girl's party only, I wouldn't feel so bad because I know that she's have to be REALLY fucked up if she'd consider herself straight and end up having a sexual encounter with another woman. But bi-sexual, it's equal playing ground. You got more potential population to pursue you, you got more opportunity, and therefore I got more competition. I wouldn't exactly say that I'm threatened by my girlfriend because she's bi-sexual, but I'm a lot more cautious. I don't trust anyone around my girlfriend. Dating a bi-sexual is a completely different experience.