[Fenzy]

Hi Tara!
You sound just like I did a few weeks back. To be honest, what you are going through will not stop or get better until you tell somebody. You have no idea what it is doing to your body. After talking to my doctor and ED specialists, I am literally TERRIFIED of purging again because that is just how scared I am of the dangers of purging that they informed me of. Restricting is just as bad. You may not be able to feel it now, but the inside of your body is going through hell not getting the nutrients it needs.

As for wanting someone to figure out what you're doing, I understand that, that is what I wanted to. I didn't want to have to tell someone what I was doing, I wanted them to notice me and figure it out. I believed that nobody even noticed me or what I was doing. But you know what? They did. I was the hallway gossip topic, I was reported to the counselors and principles by my teachers because I looked "sick", and my parents had noticed, they just weren't sure of what to do. People most likely have noticed you and what you are doing or how you have gotten thinner. They just may not know what to make of it or how to confront you about it.

If you have been passing out, that is even more reason to tell your parents or doctor. I passed out just ONCE right in the middle of a nursing home dining room where I work. I got a concussion, went to the hospital, scared the crap out of my parents and my coworkers. I found out my heart is slow, my bones are getting weak, and kidney's were beginning to shut down. It is really not worth it. You either tell your parents now or they find out on their own when you just collapse somewhere.

It's a scary thing, believe me, I know. But it just CAN'T get better unless you open up to somebody about it. Tell somebody before it is too late. Don't be like me and wait to find out that you have permanent damage to your body. I just cannot stress enough how it is really just not worth it.

Best of luck <3 PM me anytime