[kyle123]

I know what it feels like.
(PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING)

I don't understand what I've done to deserve this loneliness.

I'm 15 and I barely have any friends, definitely none that are girls. I have never had any relationship with a girl and I'm absolutely sure I never will. I have always been nice to people, so what have I done to deserve this?
PLUS, I truly feel like I'm a waste of life. There's nothing that I'm good at. I'm extremely un-athletic, extremely stupid, and people who have girlfriends, etc (even though they clearly don't deserve them) only make fun of me for never having one, as if it isn't already bad enough. I'm also made fun of so much for being stupid and un-athletic.

I remember one time on valentines day at school (the loneliest time of the year for me) there was this thing that the school did where they sold valentines that people could write to and from on (or from anonymous) and the school people would give them out to the person the valentines were made out to on valentines day. They costed 2 dollars each. I bought one and anonymously sent it to this girl I liked. It had candy and stuff in it, and I thought it would be nice. Come valentines day, I felt so lonely being the only one without a valentine sitting around other people who had them. Even the other lonely kids had them.
BUT THEN, the class rep. came up to me and delivered a valentine that someone had sent to me in the middle of the day. I was so excited, like a kid on Christmas morning. Someone actually cared about me! That's what I THOUGHT. I open up the bag. The valentine says,
"to Kyle, from Drop Dead. P.S: hows Pre-Algebra going?" Plus there was nothing in the bag except for a drawn picture of me with a rope around my neck hanging from the ceiling with x eyes and a pre-algebra book in my hand.
And the kid who sent that to me is tall, athletic, has a girlfriend, and is in pre-calculus. How could god give this horrible person everything?!?! I NEED AN ANSWER!!!!!!!!

I have been agnostic for a long time but I took up religion because of my confusion, but I don't even know if I can even be involved with any religion anymore because what has come out of it? If god does exist, he's just terrorizing me for his own fun. I'm so confused.

I see those girls on twitter saying, "i'm so alone. if ur alone out there know there's someone else out there just like you," YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT REAL LONELINESS IS LIKE! YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, YOU'RE POPULAR, YOU'RE ATHLETIC, YOU'RE SMART!!! GET OVER YOURSELF!!!! YOU TALK OF ALL THIS LONELY CRAP YET WHEN YOU SEE A REAL LONELY KID LIKE ME, YOU JUST IGNORE ME THINKING, "WHO CARES ABOUT HIM?" CAN'T I AT LEAST GET A DAMN PITTY DATE OR SOMETHING?!?!?! WHY DOES NO ONE CARE ABOUT ME?!?!?!?!?!?!

I feel like dying. If there was a button I could push that would immediately kill me, I would write a huge suicide note to all the people who should hear it, saying that they are the reason I died. I will write a note to that guy who sent me that drop dead stupid valentine telling him that he killed me, then while I'm in the afterlife watching him, he'll be in JAIL! Or will he? It's not like the police will even care about me.