[Fenzy]

My story is pretty similar to Laura's.
I would "mini binge", which for me was like 2 cookies or a small meal I couldn't weasel out of. I wanted to find a way to be able to eat supper without a fuss so my parents wouldn't suspect anything. I tried for months to throw up and couldn't for a while, then one day I just did it. And then oh boy did it become addicting. I started to eat JUST to throw up because I knew I could. I usually restricted though. Because I restricted, my cravings for crappy food got a billion times worse and sooo hard to control so I would eat crap then purge it.

My doctor explained it this way: My body was really underweight. And our bodies are preeetty smart. It knows that it needs to gain weight and it knows the fastest way to gain weight is through fat, sugar, and all that junk food. Hence the super cravings for that stuff. But when I started to eat better and more often, the cravings weren't as bad.

Anyways, after talking to my ED specialists and counselors, I am scared CRAPLESS of purging. I still think about it and sometimes try to do it.. but honestly after learning all of the stuff that it can do.. I am just so scared to do it.

So that's basically my story. Sorry for the essay but I hope I help somebody!