Hi
Thank you both for your replies. I understand that some guys would say that they’d wait, but I think that once they realise the extent of my fear (e.g. I even flinch at my friend putting her hand on my knee), they’d either just leave or say they are getting tired of waiting. Then this is when I would reluctantly agree to it (if I hadn’t already), I would feel guilty for not providing these things for a boyfriend because I know males have ‘needs’.
Regarding your questions about the label I gave the thread and if I have been abused, I honestly don’t know
. Some people on the forum have said that I have been, but I still think it was just me being weak and overreacting now. I know that I had things ‘done to me’ by three different people (one group) that I didn’t want when I was younger, but it’s complicated because they weren’t adults. The group situations involved... erm... penetration (sorry, that is so hard to say
) but not in the ‘conventional’ way as they were female. Thats why I said what I did about just letting him do what he wanted, because that’s what I ended up doing in these situations. Except this time I have just fear rather than fear with naivety so thats why I’d cry.
Sorry if I haven’t answered your questions fully, if you want to ask more, then I will try and answer them. Thanks again for your replies, and any more would be very welcome!!