Girlfriend is hurt, Im sorry, And i dont know what to do

[ajcd]

Well, she and i had been dating for 6 months, we are both christian and everything was going fine. Once in a while we would have a small fight but we would always make up. We eventually told each other we loved one another. Then a week ago, she makes friends with a guy who had deeply hurt and slandered my best friend who was like a sister to me. I told her i didnt want to hang out with even if it meant missing out on her. I thought we were really in love and now she has broken up with me, im trying to make it uo to her and win her back but idk what to do. Please help.

[Flavalicious]

I personally think you don't communicate your feelings well enough for her to understand why you don't want to hang out with her. Both of you confessed that you love each other but in the other hand you told her that you didn't want to hang out even if it meant missing out on her -- it's the total contrary of how people who love each other would act; Maybe she took it as "you're okay without me around you"; she got hurt and thought that you don't love her anymore. It could be this or other things, we wouldn't know until you find out.

I understand that you don't want her to befriend a guy who hurt your sister, but I'm not sure that she understood. Did you try to tell and explain to her about what happened between your sister and that guy? If she loves you enough, I think she would understand how you feel about him.

If both of you really love each other before this, then I think it's just the matter of miscommunication. And before you even start afresh your relationship with her, you want to fix the thing that made her broke up with you in the first place. Talk to her and find out the reasons she wanted to break up with you and fix it. Then you can ask her whether she would want to have a relationship again with you. Good luck!

[Age of Ignorance]

Sounds like she wanted an excuse to break up with you.

Either that, or it was, as Felis said, a lapse in communication - either you didn't explain your reasons well enough, or she took it the wrong way.

Just talk to her. Explain it a little bit better.

If she's still unwilling to talk things through and try to see eye-to-eye, then you know she's using it as an excuse and she doesn't really love you afterall.

[Sequin]

OP, trying to control your girlfriend's choice of friends was a poor choice. A better option would have been to "hang out" with both she and her new "friend" despite whatever her friend might have done to your own. Afterward, you could have mentioned to her (in private) what transpired between her friend and yours. You could also have heard how she felt about the situation. Nowhere in your post do you even seem remotely concerned for what she felt or why she made friends with this new person.

As for what you should do? Learn from your mistake, for starters. Ask her how she feels about getting back together. Listen to her response and take her feelings into consideration. If this leads the two of you toward getting back together, then wonderful. If it doesn't, then perhaps this was not meant to be?

I only offer this advice because you asked for help.

Good luck with what happens, OP.

[Ambiance]

Mm, loving a person could mean a lot of different things. Well, actually, only a few, but still more than you would think. And basically, the reason girls usually break up with boys is because they feel unappreciated. And I'm sure she felt unappreciated when you told her that; she might not have even fully understood why you were upset. You need to be willing to sit down in person, fully explain your feelings, fully LISTEN to her's, and make a decision after that, not before. You won't have a successful relationship until you learn to do these things.

[PSY]

A few thoughts:

1. Her idea of "love" isn't the same as your idea of "love" (meaning that she was never as committed to you as you were to her), or she lied about being in love with you.

2. There's nothing wrong with refusing to spend time with someone who hurt your best friend; however, you need to make it clear WHY you're not hanging out with that person, AND you need to make it clear that you still love your girlfriend regardless of whom she decides to spend time with. (I mean, it'd be one thing if she decided to hang out with a drug dealer - it's another thing entirely if you just don't happen to like the guy, but that guy is perfectly nice to your girlfriend.)

3. I'm not seeing a reason as to why she broke up with you - can you elaborate further?

4. Depending on why she broke up with you, it may not be possible to "win her back," and there may not be anything to "make up" to her, because you may not have done anything wrong in the first place.