My girlfriend says she wants a break.

[hobbez]

Hey everyone,

My girlfriend of a year and a few months just came out of the blue yesterday saying that she thinks we should take a break. She says she just needs some time to think about what she wants and where she is in her life right now. She says she feels gulity because she doesn't spend enough time with me, but we work opposite shifts, she works days and I work afternoons. She always stays at my house when she has the next day off and sometimes she will stay and I will take her to work in the morning. She says she loves me and she could not love someone as much as me. Also, she says she wants to be with me and I'm the only one she sees herself being with in the future. We have never really had any big problem in our relationship. We have our little arguements from time to time like any other relationship, but nothing really that bad. I really love this girl, she has completely turned my life around. (Ex. Gotten me off drugs, hepled me get a good job, etc.) She really means the world to me. I've been searching around the interent too see what I should do and everyone has been saying I need to give her the time, so I told her I would like to sit down with her tonight and talk about what we should do. I'm hoping maybe some of you can give me a couple ideas on what I should say to her, and maybe calm my nerves a little bit by saying this will just make our relationship stronger and she will always want to be with me. Any advice would be very greatly appreciated.

Thanks a lot!

[DrummerBoy]

I would be honest with her and tell her how you feel.

If that bothers you, or if you agree.

Also try to come up with some changes for both of you so you could get more time together, or stuff like that.And definitly give her time.

[Skeleton]

I agree that you should give her sometime, as much as you miss her, want her, love her etc, if she wants a break than you need to respect that and give her the time that she wants, if you're trying to change that or whatever then she'll probably get pretty annoyed with you.

As for what to say, just be honest with her. Tell her how you feel about it, whether you agree/disagree and what not, ask her why she wants a break and see if there is anything you can do to help or what not and if she still wants the break after, as I've said, give her the time she wants and let her come to you when she is ready.

[Hollifire]

Unfortunately if she wants a break, then you need to give it to her. The more you try to keep her close, the further away you'll actually drive her. I know it's never an easy thing to deal with, and I know that you're hurting right now. Tell her exactly how much you love her & how she's changed your life. If she's as amazing as you say she is, then wait for her. However, don't wait forever. She needs time, so give it to her. But eventually if she doesn't come back to you, you'll need to figure out what it is that you want. Just stay strong & hold your head high. <3

[hobbez]

Thank you for your help guys! Last night we didn't end up sitting down and talking about it because she wanted to stay at her friends house and I thought that was a good way to start giving her her space. Bu the whole time she was there we were texting each other, and the way were talking kind of reminded me of before and when we first started dating and I couldn't keep a smile off my face. I told her that I couldn't stop smiling and the way we have been talking reminded me of before, and she said she likes it and she thinks we should keep talking like this. She said she thinks it is just what we need. I honestly think she is right, but we are still going to sit down and talk about everything tonight. So I just wanted to say thank you for everyone's help and if anyone has anymore advice, I would gladly accept it.

Thank you! :]

[PSY]

I don't have any advice for you, aside from what's already been said. I just wanted to say that maybe, just maybe, a break isn't what you two really need. Perhaps your relationship just needs to be spiced up. I mean, it sounds like you both want to be together in the long-term, but due to your conflicting work schedules, the "romantic" part of your relationship is suffering. That might be something you could throw out there... but do it in a way that doesn't make your girlfriend feel "trapped" or "stuck" with you. As other members have said, the more you pull her toward you, the more she'll want to pull away from you.

[pinktoast]

I'm glad things are going better. Sometimes you just need to miss each other a little bit. Esp. when things are getting really intense.

[hobbez]

Well I just got back from talking with her. Things didn't end up the worst they good. To me it is actually a really good scenario. We did a lot of talking and she knows that I am the only one she wants to be with and she can only see me with her in the future with a family. But as of right now, she feels like she is going through some "growing up" in her life and she feels like she needs to take care of that before we continue our relationship. So for now we have decided to put the whole relationship on hold and just be each others best friends until we know we are ready. We have made a few promises to each other. I have to get myself into college, and neither of us is going to go looking for someone else. I honestly don't think either of us could replace the other. We just have a very strong bond between the two of us. During our time apart we are still going to talk to each other, and sometime down the road (a couple weeks?) we are gonna hang out with each other again. I'm really excited that this is how things worked out because I really do love this girl, and I want to really thank everyone for their advice. I really appreciate it so much.

Thank you!! :]