Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

So I'm 12 weeks today ( YAYYY ) I was talking to this guy when I found out I was pregnant. He was there with me when I took the test because I knew something wasn't right and I wanted to be sure. I was so upset because I had known this guy for a while and I was finally starting to have feelings for someone else who wasn't my ex (father of my baby). But my friend was pressuring me to keep the baby and the guy I was talking to was offering to pay for an abortion. At the time he said it was because he wanted to be with me and everyone would talk and it would be weird if I kept it. I told him that I cared about him and that I hoped he'd change his mind because I wasn't changing mine..I wanted to keep my baby. So I was 8 weeks when I found out, I was scared and he left.. I got back together with my ex/baby's father and realized he was never going to change. (he is physically and emotionally abusive and has almost killed me a couple of times) The other guy called me almost every other day for three weeks and I was very rude to him ( I don't really let too many people in my life and when I feel hurt that's usually it for that person having a spot in my life.) But I finally asked him why he was still calling me even though he knew I wasn't going to change my mind and that I was having a baby. He got mad and said "I didn't really care if you got rid of the baby or not...I just wanted YOU to make this decision on your own." ( He felt like I was keeping it because of my friend pressuring me) He said when he found out we weren't friends anymore and that I was still dead-set on keeping my baby that he still wanted to be with me. So I spent all weekend with him and his family (they LOVE me) and he asked me out and I said yes. :DDD He makes me very very happy, and nervous at the same time. But I just wanted to know if anyone else started dating a different guy while they were pregnant and if so, how did you go about telling people/explaining it to them?

Re: Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

I see no issue in dating some1 who isn't the father of your child. This sort of thing (whether you're pregnant or already had the child) happens alot. You don't have to tell people the specifics if you don't want, since it is your life. Just say it didn't work out with him and you found some1 that did and that you're happy with him. Also glad to see that he's willing to be the father in the baby's life. I wish you both the best of luck!

Re: Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

I had a guy I was interested in while I was pregnant and my baby is now about 2 months old and I am dating that same guy. If the father of your baby isn't a very good guy and this new guy is nice to you and your baby then its all good :D.

Re: Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

if your with a new guy, its fine as long as you dont make the father pay child support for the next 18 years

Re: Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

I disagree with this. If you were in a relationship with someone and agreed on the decision to have sex then it is both of the parent's responsibility to take care of the baby if they get pregnant. A kid deserves to know both parents and to have both parents involved in their lives. If you split up then whatever parent the kid doesn't live with should pay support. It cost a lot of money to support a kid and weather you get together with another person shouldn't matter. Just my opinion though XD you are entitled to yours.

Re: Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

I agree, since you were in a relationship with him and now aren't, he should still help to raise the child in some capacity even if the only support is just the child support money.

Re: Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

That is the most idiotic thing I have ever read.

New guy is NOT the father, has NO parental rights to the unborn baby.

The birth father IS the father, and even if the parents are not together he still has an obligation to provide for HIS child

Re: Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

Re: Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

I hope you at least allow him visitation rights or half custody rights

Re: Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

Re: Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

Re: Dating someone who ISN'T the father??
 

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
I left my daughter's biological father when I was 3 months pregnant and met a guy I thought I really liked and started dating him. After I had my daughter... I realized I didn't love him (He cheated on me and he wasn't all I expected him to be) and I left him. I really hurt him. He signed my daughters birth certificate (I only let him because I didn't want to hurt him and say no... Now my husband and I have to go through a lengthy process to have him removed. :[)

No I don't expect this to happen the same as it did for me... I was beyond naive and being very selfish.

I met my husband after I had my daughter... she was a few months old... and HE is my savior. I don't know what I would do without him (I didn't feel this way with my ex... I was just mostly annoyed with him) Timmy (my husband) took in my daughter as his own and LOVES her, and he LOVES me! We have a fantastic relationship and are expecting our second child at the end of December.

Just make sure he KNOWS that your having a BABY and you are both on the same page...
I think it can be fine and wonderful... just avoid the mistakes I made. And congrats on the baby! :)

My daughters biological father is diagnosed schizophrenic and was very unpredictable and dangerous.

OH and NO ONE would guess my husband wasn't my daughters real dad, and I love him more because of his love for Cecelia, he is a PHENOMENAL father and I wish I had met him during my pregnancy.