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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.
So I have decided to try online dating again. Last time I agreed too fast to meet a guy I just didn't feel anything for and I am thinking that was why I didnt feel comfortable. Now I am talking to this new guy and he seems almost too good to be true and since its online it just makes me more skeptical. We have both said we want to take things slow and just chat for now so there is no pressure. I'm sure the only way I will really know if he is worth meeting or anything is in time and by talking to him more. What I am wondering is does anyone have some tips? Oh and I know to be careful, and if I do decide to meet him to do it in a public place and tell people where I will be and everything, maybe even take friends with me etc.
I'm glad that even after a failed attempt at online dating, you've decided to give it another try. I'm also happy that safety is first on your mind as well. I can go into it, but since you're old enough to know the difference between good & bad, I'll stay away from a novel here :P
As for tips, taking things slowly and getting to know one another first is a great way to start. Over time, you'll realize if he's worth meeting, and then you can plan from there. Don't give out any personal information about yourself: such as addresses, phone numbers, or e-mail addresses until you feel comfortable doing so. I don't suggest address though. Phone number and e-mail are fine. Just continue to be yourself, and continue to be a skeptic. It could be anyone on the other side of those messages and it's great to question that. You can never be too careful with these types of things.
If you need anymore advice, feel free to PM me
I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant
HelpLink Mentor 6/13/2011
Pregnancy & Childcare Moderator 11/26/2011
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Thanks! I think the hardest part is balancing my excitement and my skepticism. My heart practically skips a beat when I see that I have a new message then I read it and start reading into every word and analyzing everything. Part of me cant imagine meeting him and not having it be completely awkward no matter how much we talk online. Then there is my family, I think they would get over the whole meeting him online thing pretty quick if he turns out to be the kinda guy I would introduce them to. But then he is 5 years older than me, no biggie to me, but you know how parents an be, especially since I have never dated before. Any tips for that?
Parents may find it difficult getting over the age difference. But, the thing is: you're 20. That makes you a legal adult, no matter where you live. 5 years isn't that big of an age difference, and if he turns out to be a decent guy, I'm sure they wouldn't care. Telling them before hand is always a good thing, but ask them to give him a chance (this is if/when you decide he's worthy of even meeting them). Everyone deserves a chance, but you don't need their approval, even though I know you'd want it. Just remember to not get your hopes up; it may not turn into a relationship. It may turn into one, but it's best not to set your hopes up high only to have them come crashing down on you. Don't over analyze everything he says either. I know it's easy to do so, but it's so easy to take something wrongly, especially since it's over the internet. Just keep in mind that you're getting to know him right now, and continue to get to know him.
I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant
HelpLink Mentor 6/13/2011
Pregnancy & Childcare Moderator 11/26/2011
Fashion & Style Moderator 12/28/2011
Social Groups Moderator 12/28/2011
Right. I always jump ahead of myself Of course most of these concerns will apply to any relationship I might end up having with a guy from the net. I gotta work on my patience and going with the flow.
Haha. I can understand why patience isn't playing a part right now. It's exciting; the possibility of a new relationship. But, patience needs to play a BIG part right now. Things will come as they'll come.
I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant
HelpLink Mentor 6/13/2011
Pregnancy & Childcare Moderator 11/26/2011
Fashion & Style Moderator 12/28/2011
Social Groups Moderator 12/28/2011
Nothing wrong with being skeptical. In fact, you should insinuate that you are skeptical, so he tries to prove himself to you. It's easier for a young girl like yourself to find a date than it is for him (not only he's a bit older, he's also a guy).
It's his job to impress you, not yours to convince yourself that he may be the great guy he claims to be.
Lol trust me it ain't easy for me to get a date! If it was I would have been on one by now! I did sorta jokingly say "alright what's the catch" in my last message, he hasn't answered yet though so I dunno if he will take it seriously at all.
Just a tip, by giving away a home/mobile number by punching it into google adresses can be found. Same with last name but it's much harder to find online without hackin. Any ounce of information you give him will allow him to get more, should he be an untrustworthy person. Should he has even minor knowledge in hacking he will be able to get much more information with any ounce you give him.
Basically be very, very careful about what you tell him if you're worried. I'm not trying to spoil this for you though, and I hope it works out. I'm just giving you an uncommong piece of knowlege.
Well we just chatted for like an hour its a lot easier to trust when his replies are instant. The skeptic in me though is keeping me from getting too terribly excited. And since I'm shy it will be a while before we meet no matter how awesome he seems.