Pickiness & Dating

[ertyuio]

Hey everyone, just wanted to let out a bit of confusion and frustration...

Lately I've been getting involved with my passion for mathematics and physics to an almost extreme degree, and I'm progressing so rapidly that most of my free time is spent learning and/or teaching. It's becoming a bit hindering, such as how I get easily bored when I'm not doing something directly involved with mathematics; standard company and conversation quickly become mundane. And, basic teenage urges are peeking through...so I'm becoming somewhat lonely after seeing how fun and fulfilling (not to mention, for me, grounding) a relationship can be...I'm finding that I'm now only genuinely attracted to girls with whom I can carry a conversation in something scientific, but I'm only getting advances from girls who are completely different (albeit physically attractive)...

And, to top it all off, all of the girls who I am interested in are extremely limited in terms of their experiences (as in, have never had romantic relationships) and can't spot my advances unless I rub it in their faces. It's really frustrating, and I know that I'll meet more women I'm attracted to in college, but am I just going to have to live with the fact that at this age I'm probably not going to meet someone who interests me very much? Or should I break down and give other people a try...despite the fact that I might be yearning for more intellectual stimulation?


EDIT: Most of my time is spent learning and tutoring, like I mentioned...and I spend the rest of it going to science/math events around the city...but there aren't a whole lot of teenagers (much less, girls) interested in what I am, so it's not really an effective way of going about to find someone that interests me. :P

[ReverseNegative]

Part of dating is learning to accept people. Not everyone has the ideal characteristics that you are looking for. Sure, there are some, but not many. It is perfectly normal that you are only attracted to those whom you can carry a conversation with because you can relate to them and have something in common. But as I said, you must learn to think outside the box. Don't let your standards for women be too narrow.

[ertyuio]

Originally Posted by ReverseNegative

Part of dating is learning to accept people. Not everyone has the ideal characteristics that you are looking for. Sure, there are some, but not many. It is perfectly normal that you are only attracted to those whom you can carry a conversation with because you can relate to them and have something in common. But as I said, you must learn to think outside the box. Don't let your standards for women be too narrow.

Well, honestly I'm glad that "not everyone has the ideal characteristics" -- it's good that I'm not attracted to everyone! I think being a little selective is a good thing; as opposed to simply dating any random girl.

...what exactly would constitute "thinking outside the box" in this case? I know what you mean, it's just that going about doing it seems tricky..

It's good to have standards so you know what you are looking for in a partner, and looking for someone you can carry a conversation with is definitely a good standard to have. However, you may be limiting yourself if you only take interest in women involved in mathematics or who are familiar with it. Try exploring things with women who have different passions than you, if only to learn more about them. It doesn't have to be a permanent thing or a long term relationship, just go out on a date or two and see what you think; give it a chance. It's good to be able to carry conversation in more than one thing, anyway; it makes you a more well-rounded individual. See if these girls can help you with that.

[ertyuio]

Originally Posted by Superstar

It's good to have standards so you know what you are looking for in a partner, and looking for someone you can carry a conversation with is definitely a good standard to have. However, you may be limiting yourself if you only take interest in women involved in mathematics or who are familiar with it. Try exploring things with women who have different passions than you, if only to learn more about them. It doesn't have to be a permanent thing or a long term relationship, just go out on a date or two and see what you think; give it a chance. It's good to be able to carry conversation in more than one thing, anyway; it makes you a more well-rounded individual. See if these girls can help you with that.

Thanks for your comment!

I don't think I was clear enough in my original post. Allow me to clarify, lol. I certainly don't need to only talk about mathematics or science 24/7; on the contrary -- I usually participate in discussions about a range of things, that most of the time, aren't about math or science. It's just that girls who are familiar, in a basic sense, with mathematics or science, tend to be more attractive to me, because they don't immediately get bored when I feel like ranting about something really cool that I've learned -- and because it'd be nice to occasionally discuss those kinds of things with someone my age. It's very difficult to find teenagers who actually enjoy talking about science!

My most recent ex was completely unfamiliar with science and mathematics -- she was into poetry and art -- but she was interested when I felt like talking about it on the rare occasion, and her attention didn't immediately shut off; that was enough for me.

[Acheron]

There's nothing at all wrong with having standards. Being with someone that you don't like is miserable, and in any case having no standards at all is a sign of desperation. But at the moment you're being too prescriptive. Chemistry beats type, every time. Try dating around a little. You've said that there are attractive girls that are interested in you, so it shouldn't be too difficult. Even if they aren't as scientific as you, you might be pleasantly surprised. And dating isn't exclusive, so you can still try to score with your sciencey types.

EDIT: OK, just saw your last post. If you just want them not to fall asleep during your science talk, that makes your job even easier. No matter the field, girls love to hear their guy talk about something he's passionate about, even if they aren't so interested in it. I've occasionally talked politics to girls that weren't political, and they've been interested just because it was something I was interested in. See, girls don't like to be the centre of your existence. If you have something going on that's more interesting than she is (in your case, maths and science) it actually makes her more interested in you. Your ex is pretty normal in that respect.

[ertyuio]

Originally Posted by Acheron

If you just want them not to fall asleep during your science talk, that makes your job even easier. No matter the field, girls love to hear their guy talk about something he's passionate about, even if they aren't so interested in it. I've occasionally talked politics to girls that weren't political, and they've been interested just because it was something I was interested in. See, girls don't like to be the centre of your existence. If you have something going on that's more interesting than she is (in your case, maths and science) it actually makes her more interested in you. Your ex is pretty normal in that respect.

Thanks for the clarification; I'd known this to a much lesser degree, but didn't really think that it was as prevalent as this. I suppose I'll start opening up a bit more then.