Dating younger...

[Neon]

I don't know of a single guy who is like this, but I feel extremely awkward dating someone younger than me. I never thought of myself as very mature but most 16, 17 year old's who I have met or gone out with I found to be immature or not understanding of some of my values... I'll be going to university where I'll be a year or two older than most freshman - the idea of losing my virginity to someone I love, but who is younger makes me cringe... Is this normal?

[Harmony♥]

Of course. Everyone has their preferences. You like to date someone who is your age, or older. I prefer, personally, to date older guys than myself. My boyfriend is currently 23, and I'm 20 and he's finishing his BA in college this year. I find that dating an older guy gives me that security that I, as a women, look for. Most guys my age, or younger, are just a little too immature for me. Don't get your hopes up though. A lot of older girls/guys are also immature, especially while they're in college, but university is definitely a good way of meeting new people that share your views.

[Acheron]

I guess it's a little different. The older guy/younger girl pattern is pretty deeply entrenched, and I know I'd feel a little weird dating someone older than me. But if you want a Mrs Robinson of your very own, there's nothing really wrong with that.

[Neon]

Too old I would have a problem with as well - I have only gone up to my own age. I just feel bad dating someone younger than me, even by 2 years, even though they aren't being 'taken advantage of' or anything I still feel like a bit of a creep and am uncomfortable.

[Harmony♥]

Originally Posted by Taste Of Neon

Too old I would have a problem with as well - I have only gone up to my own age. I just feel bad dating someone younger than me, even by 2 years, even though they aren't being 'taken advantage of' or anything I still feel like a bit of a creep and am uncomfortable.

Is there any reason why you feel uncomfortable with dating someone younger than you?

[Neon]

My sister is a year younger than me. Going out with someone who's her age/ possibly one of her friends is extremely awkward and uncomfortable, I have no idea why...

[Harmony♥]

Originally Posted by Taste Of Neon

My sister is a year younger than me. Going out with someone who's her age/ possibly one of her friends is extremely awkward and uncomfortable, I have no idea why...

That's normal, but you can always date someone who your sister doesn't even know. But, it's your choice. There isn't anything wrong with dating someone younger than you, or dating someone older than you as long as your happy with that choice, and that person treats you with respect.

[Guardian_Angel]

Well first of all, whatever you feel, no matter how different is normal for you, you shouldn't worry what everyone else is doing.

That being said, generally across society girls tend to date up, while guys tend to date down, this is for a variety of reasons, firstly, the same level of maturity is important in a relationship due to where you both are in your personal growth and what you want out of a relationship, so a 15 year old girl is just getting used to it all, while a 19 year old girl might be looking for a potential long term partner.

Of course this cannot be pinpointed at one specific age (And why its hard to create an arbitrary law for age of consent, How do you choose an age where everyone is ready?) and for example you seem to be a lot more mature than average guys of your age, and while I have always said that girls tend to be two years older emotionally than guys of the same age there is exceptions.

I think, that you shouldn't worry about the age, of whoever you fall for, unless it causes legal problems, because theres plenty of girls of varying maturity of varying age.

And lol as for me personally I prefer younger girls for two reasons; firstly emotionally I am quite immature for a guy, girls my age would probably get annoyed at me over time and I just don't feel on the same level. And secondly in a relationship I feel like I want to protect and look after my partner and lead the relationship instinctively, this want in a relationship would be undermined if I felt my partner was more mature than me, and more experienced. How can I lead if she knows better, how can I protect if she has more experience of the world than me?

I would feel coddled ad babied in the relationship and I probably would be unhappy.

But this should be an example how it depends on how you feel about relationships and what you want, oh and I have a sister who is two years younger than me, yeah shes getting married lol, totally feel like the younger sibling at the moment as I am still trying to master the washing machine and basic cooking. :P

[Neon]

Thanks, that really helped me understand

The only long term relationship I've been in was with a girl my own age, it honestly felt completely equal, since I grew up with her as a friend first.

I'm not interested in a relationship that involves alcohol, drugs or sex right away... and those are things most younger girls tend to look for : /

[Lugez]

Nothings wrong with you man.

Just do what you want. Whatever floats your boat.

[PlayingPretend]

I honestly feel that you're being driven a bit by stereotypes here.

I don't do drugs. I don't smoke. And I don't drink. I have no intention of ever starting either. I'm not interested in jumping legs-spread into a relationship, either. I am a sophomore at university. I have met people with the same values, and I've met people who are all about sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. The great thing about university is that there is diversity. There's more diversity than in a high school, where your actions and academics are more closely monitored. For some, this can be perceived as a good thing, and for others, a bad, but you're going to get more "choice," for lack of a better word, in university than anything.

Being said, there's no need to rush a relationship, and there's honestly no need to put a number to it currently. You may meet someone younger, you may meet someone older, or you may meet someone your own age. You can't predict that now. An example is I swore I would never date someone younger, yet a best friend of mine for a couple years is a year and a half younger than me (incredibly smart, incredibly mature), and we are now a couple. Things do change, things do catch you unexpectedly, etc. You may meet someone you love and whose younger age does not bother you, or you may not, but you will meet someone.

The thing you have to remember is that we all have preferences. Whether they fit what seems to be the majority or not, they're all normal (assuming they're legal, speaking from a purely surface mentality). There are men like you out there, whether you believe it or not and whether you've met them or not, and they've found people with whom they're compatible with. You will too. So don't fret! Whether your preferences are mainstream or not, they aren't preferences that are going to get you in to trouble, and though they may hinder you with some women, they're not going to hinder you with all. So no worries.

[Guardian_Angel]

Originally Posted by Taste Of Neon

Thanks, that really helped me understand

The only long term relationship I've been in was with a girl my own age, it honestly felt completely equal, since I grew up with her as a friend first.

I'm not interested in a relationship that involves alcohol, drugs or sex right away... and those are things most younger girls tend to look for : /

Hey dude,

I know a lot of the time it can feel thats all people, our entire generation cares about, and it makes you feel like an isolated island amongst everyone. I assure you though that across all age brackets there are plenty of girls who want a serious relationship of sufficient depth and emotional engagement.

There are plenty of girls who would rather sit in and read a good book, play video games or have a good intellectual discussion rather than going out and getting wasted. Theres a lot of people out there, and there is someone who will match you really well...

[Choose]

Dude, it's totally normal to date younger chicks. I know a lot of "older" couples that met when one was in college, the other in high school. I think generally speaking, the ladies like a guy to be a little older than them anyways.

You could use your sister to your advantage and date some of her friends.

[Neon]

A number of my friends are dating girls 2 years younger than them - but I think they're just using them for sex anyways...High School girls (which are the 'younger girls' to me) are just so immature - I mean, I'm not looking for 'intelligence' in someone, but a girl I was seeing recently asked me who Osama Bin Laden was

I know its just joking around, but I haven't even met a guy who's completely accepting of my values, let alone a girl I actually like. I don't know if I'm being too 'picky', and I should just find a girl who will tolerate my choices, instead of understanding them...

But I guess you're right that university is a lot more diverse than high school ...