What are you thoughts on dating services?

[Brandon]

To avoid advertising, I won't display any specific online dating service, but what are your thoughts on dating services?

Are they "only for desperate people" or what?
Any successful stories to share?
Are dating services more beneficial to women, men, or both?

[Jesus Christ.]

I'm a big believer in going out and finding somebody over online dating, and I have personally sworn to never use dating services. I have nothing against people using them, but I do think it shows a bit of desperation.

[snakewhisperer28]

ive used em b4... honestly 3 of my best friends are dudes ive met on those sites. I havent had much luck finding someone to date on there, but I think my age is a factor in that

[Gaia]

I've heard of many success stories and many flip flops from online dating. In this day and age meeting someone over the internet is becoming more and more frequent, and in my mind it would increase the chances of you meeting someone you have things in common with and could fall for.
People could perceive it as desperation, but I'd like to look at it like knowing what you want and going for it!
I don't think I'd use online dating for a long time as I would probably only use it in the future if I felt I couldn't meet 'the one' in real life.
However, I would be very careful as I've had some bad internet experiences as is, and would hate to find the other person being fake..

[Acheron]

I think it's becoming increasingly common. Given how much of our lives we're putting online now, I'd be very surprised if there isn't a normalisation of online dating over the next, say, ten years. It's already very popular among older people. But I'm not convinced that people with options will migrate online. Flirting in person is far more fun than trading e-mails. And the ability to filter people by their favourite film genre isn't going to tell you whether you'll have chemistry when you meet. It's only ever going to be inferior to face-to-face meeting, but I don't have anything against it.

Oh, and judging by the reported ratios of men to women, they're definitely better for women. Even an unattractive woman can get all the attention she'll ever need online.

[Doodle.]

Eh, I don't see a huge problem with it. Yes, people can lie online but they can lie offline too.

I've never considered doing it myself but I'd never say never.

[JustSomeone]

I've checked out a couple online dating sites before but I've never actually had the courage to meet anyone from one in real life. I actually got so nervous one time that I deleted my account once I found out that a guy on there lived like 30 miles away from me.
There's a girl i've had a crush on from another website (a non-dating one) for like several months now but I don't even have the courage to tell her let alone try to meet her in real life. I don't even know if she would feel the same way. I don't even know if she's gay or bi either... I think there's a possibility she might be only because she's never talked about dating any guys with me but who knows.

But anyway I think online dating is great for people who can do it. One of my best friends started an online relationship with a guy a couple years ago and they met in real life and they're still together even though it's still a long distance relationship.

Edit: By the way, my parents actually met through a phone dating service (back in the day before the internet) so they can work otherwise i wouldn't be here

[Jocelyn.]

I really don't see anything wrong with using one. Of course the person on the other end could be some weird pedophile or could be a woman that's actually a man (some are really convincing!), but you take that risk when you flirt with someone face to face too. When you first start dating or even flirting with someone your really don't know much about them. Online you can at least browse a profile, see if you have similar interest and decide whether they are attractive to you and worth pursuing. You have options and can message multiple women and see who responds.

I find online dating services completely different than online dating. With services you usually talk to someone a bit and decide to meet in real life to see how compatible you are. You aren't committing to each other with out ever meeting like when dating someone you strictly know online.

Meeting people face to face may take more courage than online dating sites, but I find dating sites a little more personal even. If I'm at a bar with my friends and some drunk guy starts flirting with me and offering me drinks I'll most likely find him creepy tbh. If I'm online, whether it be social networking site or dating site, I kind of expect to be talked to by randoms looking to make friends and will be more open to talking.

Anyway, I met my boyfriend on myspace. We've been together for about 3 1/2 years now.

[Double X]

It's a really easy way to get random sex, a lot of slutty/needy girls on there apparently. I'd never use it to find a date though, my cousin has two horror stories from online dating services -> relationship.

[WillO'Wisp]

I'll never use dating services for certain reasons.
1) I don't trust them.
2) You never know if you're going to find some weirdo who just wants to drug you and rape you. You never know what you're going to get. Even if you know what he looks like and etc, he could still turn out to be a total weirdo or SHE could turn out to be a total weirdo.
3) I believe in letting true love come to you, instead of being desperate and digging for it. It never works that way. And so yes, I do believe dating services is for desperate people.

[Brandon]

Originally Posted by *Nocturnal~Symphony*

3) I believe in letting true love come to you, instead of being desperate and digging for it. It never works that way. And so yes, I do believe dating services is for desperate people.

This is an interesting concept that I don't really understand. In my view, I believe that we acquire relationships the same way we do in dating services and in real life. In real life, it's like an interactive dating service but more emphasis on the looks rather than personality. The benefit of looking for relationships in real life is that you can accurately base someone's looks because you can see all of them clearly and plainly, but you normally can't tell someone's personality based on how they look therefore, in real life, it's hard to judge someone's personality without getting to know them first. On dating services, it's the same concept except it's opposite: you can't really tell in full detail of how attractive they are, but you get a good idea of their personality (in an ideal situation). How do you acquire a relationship in real life? You approach them, maybe have a conversation, and then ask her out. How do you acquire a relationship on the dating service? You send them a message, maybe have a conversation, and then ask her out. So it's the same general concept, except both have strength and weaknesses.

But you view this as desperate. The idea of "letting your true love come to you" is a very fairytale approach on relationships because statistically, the chances of finding my true love is slim. And I think there's two approaches to this fact: I can either believe in the statistics that say my chances of finding my true love is slim based on the population and all that jazz, or I can believe in miracles and say that true love is going to come to me regardless of the odds. Unfortunately, I don't believe in miracles. And what if I were to wait for that person? The more I wait for someone, the longer I sit here empty handed. I can either sit here with a false belief that my princess will somehow come into my life, and it'll somehow all come together and I'll live happily ever after, OR I could be resourceful and expand my horizons by signing up for a free dating service. To me, I don't see how you could consider that "desperate" but I think it's entirely logical as you are searching in a wider aspect. I look at real life as looking for treasure without a radar system. Sure, you might find something that people overlooked or something along those lines, but wouldn't it be more effective to look for treasure while using a radar system? That way not only can you look above ground, but you can look below it to find the good stuff that people probably wouldn't even consider looking? It's like saying a treasure finder makes you desperate to find treasure. I don't think that's always the case. Finding treasure isn't always about acting on a hunch but being resourceful because there's still millions, maybe billions of dollars of treasure in foreign oceans that haven't been found yet and no one has found them all because you can't expect to search the whole damn ocean without having some kind of resource. Sometimes, people just get lucky. And if someone gets lucky, that they're able to find their "true love" without having to use a treasure finder, then is it really considered desperate?

[PSY]

I do not believe that dating services are simply for the "desperate". What about people who have busy careers, and simply don't have time to find potential partners in the "traditional" manner (ex. hanging out at bars, going on blind dates set up by friends)? Also, what if you live in a very small town, where your choices for dating are limited? Surely there's nothing wrong with reaching out, using technology to your advantage, and finding people within 100 miles who share similar interests.

My father has utilized online dating websites twice. The first time, it led to marriage. A very unhappy marriage (in fact, they just finalized the divorce on Thursday). I do not blame the dating service, however. My father made a poor choice, which he could have done just as easily if he had met his ex-wife "in person" right from the get-go. The second attempt has been fairly successful thus far. He has been with his girlfriend for about a year.

So are dating services for the "desperate"? I'm sure some people ARE desperate, but the same goes for "in person" dating. Some people may also believe online dating services make relationships "easier" to manage, but that is simply not true. You'll still need to meet in person at some point, and you'll still need to put a fair amount of time and effort into making it work in the long-term. I agree with Brandon - the idea that "true love will find you" is unrealistic. It certainly happens for some people, but most people need to put themselves out there in order to meet several people, date for a while before finding "the one". We use Facebook to lay foundations for new friendships, so why not use online dating services to lay foundations for potential new relationships?

I do not believe there is a difference for men and women. It really depends on the individual person, what they're looking for, whether they're being truthful, etc. For example, an attractive woman may encounter numerous perverts through such websites, but so long as she uses good judgment and is cautious in choosing whom she would like to meet, she is bound to find someone who is respectable. The same goes for attractive men, or men with high salaries. So long as they use good judgment and are cautious, they should not have to fear gold-diggers.

[Harmony♥]

Originally Posted by *Nocturnal~Symphony*

I'll never use dating services for certain reasons.
1) I don't trust them.
2) You never know if you're going to find some weirdo who just wants to drug you and rape you. You never know what you're going to get. Even if you know what he looks like and etc, he could still turn out to be a total weirdo or SHE could turn out to be a total weirdo.

I completely and utterly agree with the first two. The third one has nothing to do with what I'm going to say, but regardless, the third one was also a very good point and very nicely put.

I, too, would not trust an online dating service for the simple fact is that you don't really know that person until you meet face to face. I've always been weary about dating someone online, after watching so many 'To Catch a Predator''s.

But, I also don't judge people who do use them. If you feel that you cannot find someone in the traditional way, then more power to you. I just wish my friends luck and go about my day. I also tell them to be careful, because you never truly know who your going to meet. While our chances of meeting a child molestor in our early 20s isn't possible, he'd be fairly disappointed to find out were not 13 years old and dumb enough to go meet someone online.

I would never use them. If I couldn't find someone the traditional way (which I've never had a problem doing!), I would simply say that I wasn't destined to be with someone, and would take that like it is.

[Veni Vidi Vici]

I really don't believe dating sites work. It takes away the personal experience, and even guys/girls that look like the perfect fit seem to be way off when you actually meet them. Get out there, and meet people in person, that's my opinion.

[FlyingTrue]

I have been trying online dating for over a year. The first time I went on a date with someone I met on one of the sites she just wanted to take advantage of the free meal, after the food she took off and later left an offensive message on my phone. The second time I thought I had someone after a nice day together she stole something from my home without my knowledge before mysteriously leaving and I never heard from her again. Also I have setup dates and been stood up by several fakers too. In addition there are several sites that like to extort you of your money, with setups where you have to pay to send a message to someone, but at the same time the recipient also has to pay to read and send messages (so essentially you are talking to a wall). So you also have to make sure to pick sites that aren't strictly for-profit, such as eHarmony, Speeddate, Zoosk etc. Sad so many companies are setup to take advantage of basic human desires for love and affection. Online dating has it's good sides, as it seems people aren't really open to socialize in public much these days, but at the same time there are so many negative things you need to keep your eyes out on.

[Pelios]

Originally Posted by Brandon

Are they "only for desperate people" or what?

Everything is online now a day. I don't think online dating is for desperate people, it's perfect for those whom are shy and have trouble approaching people in person. They can get comfortable before actually meeting.

Originally Posted by Brandon

Any successful stories to share?

Not really. But I don't think it would work out for me, I prefer to go traditional.

Originally Posted by Brandon

Are dating services more beneficial to women, men, or both?

I think both sexes have benefits when it comes to online dating. You get to know a person before actually going on to meet them. At the end of the day both men and women are looking for the same thing.

[bitesize]

They're grand for the people they've worked for, but personally I can't see myself ever doing it. Simply because I could never ever be attracted to someone I hadn't met in real life. Not that attraction is all about looks or anything, but for me a person's physicality ~ how they speak or their little quirks or how often they smile ~ are the major determining factors when I start to like someone. I could never find that online. :/

[dr2005]

To my mind they're no different from people putting adverts in "lonely hearts" columns, or getting to know people online in general. There can obviously be risks in arranging dates etc. via an online site, but I believe the main and most reputable sites do have safety tips marked out on their sites and provided you take sensible precautions it's probably no worse than meeting via mutual friends/in pubs and clubs and so on. Whether it works or not is down to the individual, but I don't see a problem with the concept in general - particularly given matchmaking services have been established for a long, long time now.