TeenHelp - puppy love turned toxic

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puppy love turned toxic

So I'm in my first serious relationship, we've been dating for three months, and a hand full of days. Yesterday while on the phone I saw my ex peak out in my boyfriend. He asked for one of my sweatshirts and I said no, and he said "You will give me one, you don't know how easily I can make you break". ok toxicity going BURR???? And he kept ignoring during the call because he was "busy watching youtube" and harassed me into watching a video I didn't want to watch(not inappropriate or anything, just wasn't in the mood). What should I do? My mom and dad said don't wear a sweatshirt and see what happens. I said if he puts his hands on me were over. But I don't have the heart to break up with him. I just don't. He could rape me and I wouldn't care. I'd still be with him. But at the same time I can't put myself back into a position were I'm being used. and I feel like I kind of am because he keeps asking for things from me, true he gives things back but they're not my stuff he gives back. I'm never going to see my first two sweatshirts again, he already promised that one. God what to I fucking do?

Re: puppy love turned toxic

I think you need to break ties with this guy before it gets worse. While I don't often suggest people cut all contact with a partner without explaining anything, I think in this case it would be the best way to go about things for your own good. It's really concerning to me that you said he could rape you and you'd still be with him, so it's super important to leave this situation before you get seriously hurt. I'd block him on your phone, social media, and anywhere else he can get in touch with you. If he goes to the same school, don't hang out with him before or after class, sit with him at lunch, etc.

You are worth SO much more than someone who might hurt you. You have much more value than that. You deserve to be with someone who treats you appropriately and kindly. You're only twelve, you have so much time to find the right person for you.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this relationship who may be able to help you get out of it, such as a teacher, guidance counselor, club advisor, sports coach, etc? It can help to talk to someone who has probably seen this before and can walk you through it.

I hope you are able to get through this okay. :hug:

Take care,
Dez

Re: puppy love turned toxic

I could try to talk to my homeroom teacher/safety teacher about it. She might have some advice, but I don't really know, because she's never seen this side of him before. I hadn't really either, and it only came out once. I never have really cared what anybody did to me before and id still stay with them, I've quite literally been raped and stayed with my girlfriend after that happened, so it's not to farfetched to say i'd do it again.

Re: puppy love turned toxic

You may have never seen this side of him before, but that's not to say that he won't do it again or won't escalate. That's why I strongly encourage you to talk to someone (such as your homeroom/safety teacher). They can be helpful in getting you out of the situation.

Re: puppy love turned toxic

I just am hesitant because of my anxiety. It could get in the way of me preventing something traumatizing to happen again. I feel like I was manipulated into staying with him, because we fight over who loves who more, he always says things like "If you leave me I don't know what I'd do with myself" and "I'll NEVER give your sweatshirts back" like damn? I kinda wanted those back.