Dating

[Em0bxy]

Okay, I've been dating this boy for almost a month, and he is my dream. I love him to pieces, but...I want us to last a long time but we're both only 12, so I know this won't be forever, but I want it to be forever...I've known him 878 days. My longest friendship ever. We both argue over who loves each other more and petty things like that, we have a lot in common and I saved his life a year ago...I feel the need to protect him...but we're only 12, so we can't go on actual dates or stuff like that. I feel like this will be a long relationship, but I want it to last, I don't want the chance of break up. I'm so scared of losing him...we keep giving each other gifts and stuff and it's honestly adorable how we are...but I'm so scared of losing him, and he's scared of losing me. When I was at the hospital for about two weeks, he said he was crying every night cause he was scared...of losing me. What do I do about this irrational fear? And how do I cope if we break up? This is my first REAL relationship, I've had situationships before, but not a real boyfriend who's caring and actually happy about my existence. All my situationships have been with toxic, backstabbing, manipulative, liars. I'm so scared of losing him...I couldn't do it. I'd get worse with my depression and self-harm...he means everything to me, he's the reason I'm trying to recover for petes sake! I cuoldn't lose this guy, and I'm going to make sure that happens with everything inside of me, but I know we're only 12, and most 7th grade relationships don't work out, but I need him to at least stay my friend, I couldn't lose him for good...I just couldn't do it. How do I cope with these irrational fears of losing him and how do I cope if I do lose him? In my mind, I can't picture a after us, Am I being unrealistic? Will there be a after us? No matter what I do? I need answers...I need to keep my heart from shattering, but this guy...he...he's everything. I've never felt so passionate about somebody before, but this guy is really my whole life. He makes me laugh and smile when I'm sad, he gives me little love letter and drawings(I do the same), he's the reason I want to live...I saved him from this dark and mind spinning depression, and he's saving me. He doesn't realize that just with him being himself, he's saving my life. I want to tell him that but I don't know how. Like "oh yeah by the way, you saved me from killing myself" but I don't want it to sound cliche or sheepish. AHHHHH MY MIND IS RUNNIN SO FAST WITH THE FEAR OF LOSING HIM I CAN'T DO ITTTTT>~< I need help bro what do I do

Ashton Out.

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

I think it is worth communicating with him about the worry of losing him, and he can talk to you about his worries as well. It's not going to guarantee you don't break up one day, but you can create a game plan on what the two of you want from the relationship, boundaries, and what to do if either of you ever finds a conflict/problem with the relationship so it doesn't blow up into an even bigger problem. I'm not saying you'll never argue, but it can help to have a game plan if things happen.

I can't say for sure whether the relationship will last forever. Some people DO meet their soul mates young, but other people have their first loves but they don't last. There's no real way of predicting that. But I can say the pain does get easier if you two do break up. It does take time so don't rush into another relationship or feel like you should have everything figured out right away. Give yourself time to heal and practice self care whenever possible.