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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Long term relationship trouble - February 9th 2025, 03:50 AM

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 8 years I think, and we’ve known each other and like each other for longer than that. He moved to a different state for a few years originally to learn trade skills but ended up getting his associates. I love him a lot, but at the same time I can’t help but feel like I’m not in love in with him? I can’t really imagine us having a certain kind of intimacy (which I know is not required for a relationship but it’s part of a lot of them) and originally I attributed it to us both being raised religious. But it’s not, at least not for me anymore. And the more I actually talk to him, I really enjoy spending time with him and his family but I’m not sure if we are really meant for each other? And I think we want different things in life long term, But also it’ll be 8 years in September, how do I just… walk away from that? Or end it? I know this is a sunken time fallacy thing or whatever it’s called but I really don’t know what to do, I’m also horrible at confrontation or anything like that. I guess I just want some advice or anything?[/size][/color][/font]
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Re: Long term relationship trouble - February 9th 2025, 11:43 PM

I think the best thing to do is to be honest. Let him know you care about him a lot but you think you’re at two different places in life and you don’t think you’re compatible anymore. I’d do it sooner then later because he might think everything is okay and dragging it out will hurt the both of you.


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Re: Long term relationship trouble - February 11th 2025, 12:22 PM

Hi there,
I'm sorry to hear how you must be feeling. Being in a long-distance relationship can be tricky.
The decision is ultimately up to you as to how you want the relationship to be and as Dez mentioned, I would talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling.


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Re: Long term relationship trouble - February 16th 2025, 12:15 AM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. You're definitely experiencing some challenging feelings.

Long-distance relationships can be difficult, but they can also bring a lot to light. In your case, it sounds like it has helped you realize that you and your partner may want different things out of life, and that's completely okay! As we grow and learn more about ourselves, we also learn more about what we're looking for in life. While you may have once aligned with each other on that, it's okay if you've grown in different directions and now want different things. As others have said, I recommend talking to your boyfriend about what you're feeling. Perhaps he's been feeling something similar. He may also be interested in learning more about what you're feeling and seeing if there is a way that the two of you can work together on resolving that.

It's also important to remember that the time spent in a relationship doesn't mean you have to stay in it forever. As I said before, sometimes we grow apart from our partners, and that's okay! While it can be difficult to walk away from a relationship that you've invested a lot of time in, both of you deserve to be happy. If you've decided that this isn't the relationship for you anymore, it's not fair to either of you to keep trying to hold onto it. However, if you are still interested in trying to make it work, open and honest communication is your best bet.

I know it can be a difficult thing to experience, but I know you'll get through it. Please don't hesitate to reach out via this thread or PM if you'd like to talk about this in more depth.

Take care,
Sam


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