match made in heaven or hell?

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Three months ago, I matched with a guy on Hinge and we started talking. We have many things in common and have kept DMing each other for 3 months. We both spoke about plans like cooking at his apartment, going to a concert together, having lunch at our uni, etc. (we started talking when he was in a semester abroad so we didn’t have a chance to meet, he’s coming back in a few days). He also liked every story I posted, about me or any other things. He replied to most of them, too. So it's safe to say we've interacted a lot and have confided in each other for tons of stuff. However, I started to notice that he told me about a fling he had abroad (the story being related to another thing he was talking about), and he had ups and downs in communication, despite it being generally good. Last week, I spoke to him about what I was worried about: I asked him how he viewed our connection, to know if it was as friends. He told me that he didn’t give it much thought and he assumed we were friends since we didn’t explicitly talk about it. Moreover, he said he didn’t know that I felt that way about him and that he was sorry for creating a misunderstanding. We both agreed to stay as friends, but friends of mine have been telling me that he’s probably confused or something. I don’t know what to believe since I can’t imagine him only thinking we were friends since the beginning, it just doesn’t add up to me. I really like him so it would be great if I got out of this “friendzone”, if possible. I would like to know another person’s opinion, so if any of you could give me your honest insight I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks <3[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

I think communication is the best thing here. We may tell you that he likes you as more than a friend and be completely wrong about it. It's hard to assume something like this because then someone ends up hurt in the end. Weigh the pros and cons and consider telling him that you want to be something more. One pro of course is that it could possibly lead to you entering a relationship, but a con is that it may affect the friendship if he doesn't feel the same way. You can sit him down somewhere private when he is in a decent mood and let him know that there has been some confusion between the two of you lately and you'd like to try giving dating a try. But, also consider what he said when you talked about the misunderstanding before. If he explicitly stated he doesn't have the same feelings as you I wouldn't try pressuring him too much.

[Moxie.]

Hey,

This is a tricky situation to navigate. Communication is definitely key here, as making assumptions runs the risk of one or both of you ending up hurt. While he said that he hadn't given being something more much thought and apologized for the misunderstanding, it doesn't sound like he completely dismissed the idea of dating. That being said, it doesn't sound like he had active enthusiasm about it either. Sitting down with him and having a conversation about where you both stand could give you some insight into his feelings. You can ask him whether he is open to seeing where things go or if he would rather keep your relationship solely platonic. If he's interested, great! If he isn't interested in pursuing a relationship, you can always focus on building a strong friendship with him. The important thing to remember when having a conversation like this is that it is essential for you to accept what he says, even if you don't get the response you were hoping for.

Take care,
Sam

As Dez and Moxie said, communication is important. He hasn't indicated that he likes you in any way, and sometimes there are friendships that can be deeply meaningful without ever turning romantic; and I think that's what he saw it as. He seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't had seen someone when he was overseas if he had any feelings for you, and if he knew you liked him. He would've felt awkward at first probably, and now he probably feels bad he doesn't return the feelings.

I can't tell you what to do, but I would consider weighing how important your friendship with him is over anything going wrong with that conversation.

Feel free to reach out again if needed and please take care of yourself.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello, I hope you are doing well. When we are dating someone or friends with them, you always want to talk about what is going on or how you feel because talking always helps and you can talk about anything that is happening. I hope everything works out for you soon.