Psycho I guess

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Hey,

I just needed to share with someone anonymously about my problem. The story is long so I will try to make it as short as I can.

Summer 2019 I started dating this boy, now my ex, and broke up 2020 somewhere in june (almost 1 year dating). I was 15 and it was my first relationship so yes, I was dumb and easily manipulated. For short, he didn't let me go out without him, I had to text him each one movement I made (even if I go to the shower), he didn't let me wear shorts, dresses even skinny jeans. I tried multiple times to break up with him but he starts crying and telling me that he just cares about me and promising it will be different and I forgave him and the next day everything is again the same.

So, I finally got fed up and left him. He continued trying to get me back and when he understood I won't this time... Idk, he became even more crazier. In the middle of the night he was standing in front of my house texting me and calling me like crazy to come out. He told my parents that I had org*es, that I am a drug addict, that the police was seaching me and for some reason my parents believed him. They sent me to my grandmas, they barely called me and these things continued whole summer 2020. I was stressed all the time, I started having tics and couldn't sleep.

Fall came, we started school and got a new boyfriend and he is the best thing that ever had happened to me. I have my own life and privacy and is always here for me. Never have been more happy. But when i just thought things with my ex were done he started again. We live in a small town and everyone knows eachother so rumours are pretty easy to spread. He started telling people that I was cheating on my bf with him, sending snap to almost everyone of his scratched car door and telling that was me (next level of obssesion), telling again disgusting stories of me "hoeing".

The worst thing of all is that my friends for 11 years are friends with him and hang out pretty often and always defending him. We are a trio and yk, always one of a three girls group gets left out (me ��). They dont treat me very good and always killing my confidence and then are mad when I want to spend more time with my bf. (wonder why)

I know this male creature will maybe never leave me alone (he even has a gf for half an year now and still). Its been over a year since we broke up, I am 17 now and he is fkn 21 never got a real job and waits in mommys and daddys money. Im scared same things will happen again but I know my so called friends give him info about me and maybe I need to stop contact with them. Im just scared that my bf will leave one day and I will be all alone.

Ps1: I can't tell my parents because they never take me seriously and now in the past the house is calm, i dont want to ruin that. Im scared they will believe him again and he will say other things. I had told them to take me drug test if they dont believe me but they refuse.

Ps2: Few weeks ago after many many tries and not being able to use even the smallest size tampons anymore i found out i formed vaginismus which is stressing me even more ��

Ps3: sorry if I have spelling errors, my english is not very good.[/size][/color][/font]

[Astro04]

Hm, i see a big problem here.
What I can tell you is to make a new life. It's hard but do it. There's other people you can go outside with? Because it's time to leave the old ones alone and start again!
About the drugs test, even me I think do it it's the best choice to do, but the fact your parents won't makes me to think a huge why? There's something to hide? Hmm...
Tell them to look your camera, or other places in the house. If they won't find anything 1... 2... 3 times slowly they will change your idea.

Hey there. Thanks for reaching out here on TeenHelp. I hope we are able to help you.

The first thing I want to say is that you are not in the wrong. Your ex's behavior is actually abusive, to a scary degree, and I am so sorry you had to endure that. I can only imagine it's even worse that your parents and friends believed his lies. The fact that he swayed your entire support system is devastating. I am glad things are better now, but I am so sorry that it happened at all.

If your ex won't leave you alone, you may need to involve law enforcement. What he did was already illegal if you engaged in sexual relations, as he is an adult and you are still a minor. He could be arrested for statutory rape. Even if you didn't have a sexual relationship you could still get a restraining order against him. He should not be near you, period, and if the law can help you ensure that, then utilize that resource.

I know you don't want to "rock the boat" but you are a valuable person, and you deserve support. You shouldn't have to bear this abuse on your own. Reach out to people you trust, even if it's just one or two people. Honestly, holding this all in will possibly eventually lead you to engaging in harmful or risky behaviors to cope with the complex emotions. I also suggest, especially if you don't feel like reaching out yet, to express yourself. Write poetry or stories. Paint, draw, sculpt- do art! If you like physical things, it's a great way to expend energy- running, sports, rock climbing, even just working out at a gym- it's all good!

I hope this helps. Remember, you are valid and your feelings matter. You deserve to love yourself, and you don't deserve this pain. PM me if you need anything.

[Mallika]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out! You've already got some good responses here so I will weigh in my two cents.

Like Garyl said, you're 100% not in the wrong. You were heavily manipulated by this man. You did the right thing by leaving him in the past, but being such a toxic person, he's still coming after you. It's not your fault.

I'm sorry that your parents and close friends haven't been supportive. In a time like this, you must remember that you are your own companion. You need to stand your own ground.

I would strongly encourage you to do the following:
- Cut off contact with your friends who seem to be doing things behind your back. You don't need such toxic people in your life.

- Ignore your ex. Don't entertain his actions. Pretend you're undisturbed by what he is doing. A nonchalant attitude will slowly repel him. Once he realises that you're not affected by him anymore, he will lose the impetus to constantly stir up trouble.

- Seek support. Your family hasn't been too helpful, so perhaps you might want to contact your school's counsellor or a teacher. It can be very overwhelming to suffer in silence and put up with everything that has been going on. If needed, you can also sign up with TeenHelp's LINKUp which will match you with a mentor whom you can chat with on a regular basis.

My PMs are also always open if you'd like to chat. And remember, take this as a passing cloud. People may talk now, but something else will come up in the future and this will become a memory. Better days will come. Take care