Letter

[Starseeker]

I have a close friend. We've known each other for four years. I really really liked him at the beginning (and it lasted for a long time, almost a year I think). Then I somehow moved on, had a boyfriend in the meantime etc. but recently I've discovered I have feelings for him once again.

Romantic feelings aside, he's moving to a different country to study in September and I'm so afraid of losing my best friend. He is now away for the next week and I don't know if I will even have a chance to meet him until late August, because both of us will be travelling on and off during the summer.
I've realised that I have so little time left. I wanted to tell him everything I felt, but I didn't have the guts, so I wrote a letter. It's a long letter about everything: depression, meds (he doesn't know about it), my feelings for him, how I will miss him. I attached a self-made green dream catcher. And I sent it today, so he will probably receive it in a week, when he comes home.
I don't know if I did the right thing, and I'm afraid of destroying our friendship, but I think all of this should have been said anyway. I just wanted to tell you here, about this letter and all. Waiting for him to receive it is kind of infuriating

[Rivière]

I don't think there's a right or wrong thing to do in that situation Sue. What matters is that it felt right to you and that's it. I've been in a situation where I've really wanted to tell somebody how I felt about them and they ended up moving away. All I was left with were 'what if's' because I chose never to say anything and let them go. For what it's worth, based on my own personal experiences, I also think you did the right thing.

[Dawn.]

Hi there Sue,

I think you did the right thing as well. I believe you might have regretted not telling him how you feel in the long run. It can be a scary thing to do but now you would have gained so much confidence by doing it. How do you feel now that you have sent the letter off?

[Starseeker]

Originally Posted by Dusk.

How do you feel now that you have sent the letter off?

Very impatient It's a bit of a hard time waiting for him to receive the letter.

Honesty and frankness are vital to me, so even though I don't know what his reaction will be, I think I did the right thing. I believe people don't share enough emotions and feelings with others nowadays and I don't like this direction in which the world is going, so I made this small step towards opening up.

[Celyn]

Originally Posted by Matter

I believe people don't share enough emotions and feelings with others nowadays and I don't like this direction in which the world is going, so I made this small step towards opening up.

So true!

I've been stalking this thread as it reminds me of when I was a lot younger and I did a similar, albeit slightly different thing, and it was the best thing ever to be open about my feelings to someone- I'm glad that I did it.

Whatever happens, I think you did the right thing too

[Mallika]

Hi Sue,

Thanks for reaching out! So I've been more or less in the same situation as you before and did the same thing. Long story short: I'm glad I did what I did and have no regrets.

I really liked a classmate of mine in the last 2 years of high school. We were friends but I never had to guts to tell him how I felt in person, though I intended to confess my feelings at some point. After high school, both of us jetted off to different countries (different continents, actually) and I had no chance of seeing him again. After I had moved to the country where my college was, I had a conversation with a girl friend who told me not to sit on it and reach out to him. I chose to message him via text - it was a concise yet honest message on how I felt about him. He appreciated my honesty but politely declined.

Despite the outcome, I'm so happy I did what I did. What is important here is the sincerity with which you are reaching out to this boy. Your feelings are genuine, so there is no downside at all to being honest.

I agree with the other users on this thread that you did the right thing. Like you correctly said, we're living in a world where humans have become so reserved. A letter or an honest confession is a pure example of human touch. Regardless of how it turns out, I can assure you that he will appreciate it and it will mean something to him. On your part, you can be satisfied that you did what you had to. Now you won't have regrets about not having told him about your feelings

Best of luck and I hope it turns out well for you!

[Starseeker]

He asked for a meeting and we ended up talking for five hours at a cafe. He said he didn't want to start a relationship with the perspective of going abroad soon. I understand this, and I also think that if he doesn't want to engage in anything, it means he's not romantically interested.

It seems my confessions didn't have any negative impact on our friendship and that was what I had feared the most.

So it's okay, I guess. I will miss him terribly when he moves out - partying together, sharing a laugh, travelling, going on bike trips and our weekly ice-skating sessions. I'm glad we were able to meet and talk.

Hey Sue,

I am really glad you got to talk to your friend about your letter. While I know it's not what you would ideally have liked to hear, it sounds like you still found a way to nurture your connection and get some closure. I hope y'all can stay in touch. It will be different, but I hope your friendship remains strong.

Sue, I am happy the meeting went well with your friend even if it didn't go as you were expecting. It sounds like things are still normal between you two, and I hope the friendship remains strong even after he moves away.

Wishing you the best of luck!

[Mallika]

Hi Sue,

I'm glad to know that your meeting with him went well. It was definitely considerate of him to meet you before leaving to tell you how he felt. At least now that he knows your feelings, you can be assured that you have done what you had to. It is also nice that you can continue remaining friends - even though you can't meet him in person much, there is always technology. And you can always meet when he returns home for his breaks

Take care

[Celyn]

Sorry to hear that your close friend didn't seem interested in a relationship. But it does sound like you still have a close friendship with him, which is great as it shows a lot of maturity and closeness between you in being able to have such conversations. It's understandable that you will miss him when he leaves, but hopefully you can stay in touch and if the occasion arises, catch up in person too.